


Adventures: Hazardous to One's Marital Status

by Starkindler



Series: The Adventures of Hobbit/Dwarf Courtships [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Discussion of mpreg, Dwarvish courtship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 21:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starkindler/pseuds/Starkindler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When his family tried to marry him off, Bilbo thought to go on a little adventure, and finds himself in Dale. What he didn't expect was to be single one moment and then halfway to married off the next, and to a Dwarf he's never even met, no less!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures: Hazardous to One's Marital Status

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This story was written in response to [this prompt](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/6263.html?thread=15698807#t15698807) on the HKM. This was supposed to be part of the Tolkien Big Bang, as was the last story I posted, but for some unknown reason that challenge seemed to crash and burn there toward the end. *shrugs* So I am posting here. I do have artwork for this story from the artist, and I will add the link once I get it onto my server.
> 
> With this prompt, I've essentially tossed the timeline/storyline out the window. In this universe, Isildur wasn't an idiot and actually tossed the One Ring, poor Smeagol never turned into a vile creature, and Smaug never came down to wreak havoc upon Erebor. I've taken many other liberties concerning Hobbit timespan and biology, as well as timelines to when some are born and who their parents are. 
> 
> My thanks to Doc Janet for the beta on the last few stories! :)

~*~

 

Bilbo Baggins walked around the marketplace of Dale, taking in the wondrous city and the diverse people who milled about. Dwarves, Men, and Elves walked here and there, none of them paying much attention to him, other than with minor curiosity on occasion. It wasn't surprising, as most, if not all of them, did not know what a Hobbit was.

 

His mother, Belladonna Baggins, had died less than two years ago, a mere three years after his father, Bungo. Died of a broken heart, she did, surviving only long enough to see her son come of age. Then he'd had to deal not only with his mother's death, but also with his confounded Baggins relatives trying to marry him off to Hobbits he would walk a mile out of his way to avoid.

 

With the rumors of Lobelia being the next one in line, Bilbo decided now was the time for an adventure, to save the both of them. They liked one another, in an antagonistic sort of way, but marriage between the two of them would result in murder before the first year was out, and it was a toss up as to which one of them would be the victor. To preserve their friendship and everyone's sanity, Bilbo left orders concerning Bag End with the Gamgees next door and hightailed it out of Hobbiton in the middle of the night with a hefty travel pack and a bag full of gold coins he'd collected from the bank over several weeks, so as not to make anyone suspicious. Hobbits were an extraordinarily nosy bunch, after all.

 

He'd made it to Rivendell all on his own, and from there, he'd traveled with a group of Elrond's people who were going to a meeting with Thranduil of the Woodland Realm, and they'd offered to escort Bilbo over the Mountains and through the woods, and at least partway to Dale.

 

It was a pleasant trip, and Thranduil was most congenial, telling Bilbo if he waited but a week, he had a group of traders going into Dale and they would be happy to escort him. So he'd stayed and made friends with the Elven King, as well as his sons and daughter.

 

Now he was here, on his second day in the city. He'd found a lovely inn to stay in, and the owners were quite friendly. Everyone he'd had contact with had seemed quite friendly, especially when they realized he was spending money.

 

He had bolstered the already considerable amount he'd withdrawn when he risked going into a cave he'd stumbled upon by accident one night while dodging the sight of three huge but rather stupid trolls. He'd thought rightly that the cave belonged to the trolls, going by the stench alone, and so he'd gathered several bags of the gold from within, and he'd found a rather lovely Elven dagger that was as good as a sword for himself. He could hardly care that he was stealing from trolls, who had likely killed and eaten the owners of the items.

 

He almost didn't take the dagger, but then he thought perhaps at one point he might need it and took it anyway, along with a few other blades he'd found, just because they were beautiful and did not deserve to languish in that dreadful hole.

 

Other than the trolls, his travels were pleasant and trouble free. And now he had plenty of gold to barter with, especially after Thranduil and Legolas spent a great deal of time telling him the worth of what he had, and how to barter for a fair price.

 

He was currently at a stall that sold yard goods, and he was fondling a length of cloth that would make a rather beautiful robe, when there was a commotion behind him.

 

He turned to see Dwarves behind him. Two of them were facing one another, both of them dressed in rather fine clothing. There were guards with the elder one, who was glaring at the younger one who was closer to Bilbo. Close enough that he could reach out and touch him, if he so desired.

 

Deciding not to appear rude, he turned back around, though he kept half an ear on the conversation, so he could decide whether or not a fight was going to break out. It wouldn't do to be in the way and get run down by a bunch of rowdy Dwarves.

 

"Thorin! I demand that you return to Erebor at once. Your behavior was disgraceful, and to run away like a child is inexcusable. You have a duty to the kingdom."

 

The younger one, Thorin, Bilbo guessed, snapped back, "Duty does not require me to marry that horrid woman. She has no designs other than the Queen's throne and the King's gold. She likes me as much as I like her."

 

"She is a good match for you, my son, and it's not as if you enjoy the company of the nicer ones we've brought to you. I must insist. If you do not have a good reason for rejecting Dorwina, then you _will_ be marrying her."

 

Bilbo tuned out whatever else was said after that, figuring that a brawl wouldn't start up between the two since they were father and son. At least he hoped not. He picked up the fabric and said to the trader, "I will take five lengths, please," thinking he could use what was left for patchwork quilts.

 

He'd picked up quite a fondness for sewing, both clothes and quilts. Most people thought he bought all his clothes, but he honestly made more of them than he bought. It would come as a shock for them to realize that he'd inherited his love of sewing from his father. His mother's sewing ability was limited to fixing a hem or darning a sock.

 

Now his cooking talent...that was all Belladonna. His father could burn water just by looking at it. He'd have never survived as a bachelor.

 

He was eying another lovely cloth when suddenly he was grabbed by the arm and jerked into the arms of the younger Dwarf, Thorin. He looked up to glare at the Dwarf but nearly choked on his tongue when he realized how handsome the Dwarf was. Not that it made being dragged around all right by any means, but the surprise froze his tongue when he'd otherwise have lashed out immediately.

 

Thorin used that moment to his advantage, because next thing Bilbo knew, Thorin was looking at his father and saying, "I cannot marry Dorwina, because I have found my One."

 

Thorin's father looked between them, an expression of abject disbelief on his face. "You expect me to believe this... _Halfling_ is your One?"

 

Bilbo made a face. He was really getting tired of being called that, so he said crossly, "Excuse me, but I'm not half of _anything._ I am a Hobbit, thank you very much, and we find Halfling rather offensive, so please do refrain from using it in the future."

 

Thorin spoke up, pulling Bilbo closer, causing him to squeak just a little and wince as the hilt of Thorin's dagger jammed into his ribs. "Yes, this... _Hobbit_ is my One. I had only just discovered it myself several minutes before you came, Father, and I was trying to decide how to approach him. I cannot marry Dorwina, because he is the one I am meant to spend my life with. I will have no other."

 

Thorin's father narrowed his eyes as he looked between the two. He nodded, but his expression said he didn't believe Thorin was telling the truth _at all_ , and said, "Very well. I will leave Dwalin and a few men here so that you may talk with your intended and begin the courting process. I expect to see you and your _Hobbit_ at Erebor within five days. If I do not, I will have the others begin planning your courting and wedding to Dorwina."

 

Bilbo watched the other Dwarf turn and stalk off with three of the guards, leaving behind three of the others. One of them was smirking at Thorin, and Bilbo figured it was that Dwalin fellow. Then he tilted his head up to glare at Thorin. The only thing that stayed his tongue was the desperate, pleading look on the Dwarf's handsome face.

 

He'd always had a weakness for dark hair and blue eyes. And this Dwarf had plenty of both, helping to make him a stunningly attractive man.

 

Sighing heavily, he pulled away from Thorin. "You have a lot of explaining to do," he snapped, turning back to the stall to resume his shopping. "After I am done here, you are going to explain to me, in excruciating detail, what exactly is going on, because I don't have the first bloody clue." He glanced at Thorin sharply. "And you are buying me lunch while you do it."

 

Thorin nodded dumbly, words seeming to have deserted him for the time being.

 

Bilbo took his time, purchasing lengths of four more types of material before paying for his purchases. Once Bilbo had his package, he turned to Thorin. "Well, let's be going. We don't have all day, _future husband of mine_."

 

"This way," Thorin said, wincing, leading him away from the marketplace to an out of the way building.

 

Bilbo walked inside, taking in the dining area. It was rather large, with many tables that could hold a varying amount of people. It was light and airy, with many windows allowing the sunlight and the breeze from the lake to filter in. The walls were stone, but the tables and chairs were a rich, dark wood, ornately designed and carved with lovely woodland patterns.

 

The one who greeted them bowed low. "Prince Thorin. How may I serve you today?"

 

"Do you have a private room? I and my companion need to discuss a few things and I would prefer not to have an audience," Thorin said, dropping a few gold coins into his hands.

 

"Of course, Your Highness, right this way," the man said, leading them up a set of stairs and to a room toward the back. "There is a room next door for your guards, if you wish to be alone. The balcony joins the two rooms, in case you should need them."

 

Thorin nodded to Dwalin, who led his men into the other room, and Thorin guided Bilbo into the first. They sat at the table closest to the window and the man left them with a bow, promising to bring food and wine up directly. Then they were alone.

 

Bilbo folded his arms over his chest and sat back, staring at Thorin. "Well? Out with it. And I want the whole blasted story. I think I deserve it, since from what I gathered from the end there, your father is expecting that you and I will show up in a week, well on our way toward _marriage._ "

 

Thorin slumped over the table, and began thudding his head on the wood for several long moments. Then he sat back up and said, "I am sorry. I panicked, and you were the first one within reach."

 

Sighing, Thorin slumped again, this time down in his chair. "About a year ago, my father, who recently took up the throne of Erebor after my grandfather's death, decided I needed to marry and produce heirs. Nevermind that my sister is newly wed and plans on providing worthy enough heirs, and that we have a younger brother intent on spreading his seed far and wide. Or at least he's recently been making an effort to seem like he is."

 

"Ah, a flirt then," Bilbo surmised, amused by Thorin's tone.

 

"Yes, quite, which is fine, since he seems to enjoy himself," Thorin said. "But my father, once he sets his sight on something, keeps after it until the task is complete, and he is determined to see me wed. I do believe he has gone out of his way to find the Dwarrowdams who were the stupidest, most spineless, nastiest or most gold-digging ones of every Dwarf-kingdom in Middle-Earth. While I have never been interested in those I have met nor in marriage in general, I have met some of the most delightful Dwarf-women one could ever hope to meet, who I could have tolerated being married to if required, and been content enough. None of those are the women my father has picked. He has the most awful taste, with the exception of my mother, but as that was an arrangement, I do not think it counts."

 

Bilbo chuckled, because he surely could understand Thorin's plight. "I can sympathize, actually. I'm here in Dale instead of in the Shire, because my father's relatives keep trying to marry me off to lads and lasses that I would go out of my way to dodge so I don't have to speak to them. I fled the Shire because their next choice was a friend, and any relationship other than friendship would have ended with one of us killing the other, and I'm not certain who would achieve murder first. And she's the one that I tolerate well enough out of the entire lot."

 

"So you do understand my problem," Thorin said, sounding relieved.

 

"Yes, of course. No one should be forced to marry someone they find contemptible. But what about all that 'one' business?" Bilbo asked.

 

"The woman he has chosen and is determined I marry is the worst of the lot. She is greedy, cold and perhaps a little mad, and she dislikes me and my family, though she hides it from my father well. I fled when he decided I would be marrying her, with my consent or no, and he found me here, next to where you were. I think you know the rest."

 

Thorin sighed and fiddled with the fork at his place setting. "For Dwarves, those rare lucky few who are that fortunate, they find what we call our One. They are essentially the other half of our souls, the ones we are destined for, created for. We can marry others and love them and even be content, but for my situation, the only way my father would halt the proceedings was if I found my One."

 

"And that is supposed to be me. You know he didn't believe you," Bilbo pointed out. "And for this to work, you would have to actually marry me."

 

Thorin ran his hands over his face. "I know. I've put you in a horrible position, and I do apologize for it."

 

"And what would happen if you went back and told him that I refused you, in spite of my being your One?" Bilbo asked curiously.

 

Thorin winced. "He would be watching for signs of my fading. Those who are rejected by their Ones fade away, much like the Elves fade. We waste away until we die. It's why our Ones very rarely reject each other. When I did not fade, he'd see it was a falsehood and marry me off to Dorwina."

 

Their food came then, and they waited in silence until the man was gone to begin serving themselves from the platters.

 

"So you would be right back where you started," Bilbo murmured.

 

"Yes," Thorin said, picking at his food.

 

The Dwarf looked so resigned to his fate and absolutely miserable that Bilbo's heart went out to him, in spite of the inconvenience to him. "Then the only other way out of this is to court me and marry me."

 

"I cannot ask that of you. I don't know what I was thinking," Thorin muttered, pushing his plate away.

 

Bilbo moved Thorin's plate back in front of him. "You're not asking, I'm offering. Look, we can spend the next few days getting to know one another a bit, and you can begin this courtship thing. I'm assuming it takes some time?"

 

"A year to two years, depending on the couple," Thorin said.

 

Bilbo nodded. "All right, then. In the meantime, perhaps your father will see reason, especially if he thinks he's going to have a Hobbit for a son. As for marriage, we can cross that particular bridge when we come to it. We do have two years, after all."

 

He cut into his beef and raised an eyebrow. "Now eat, because you're going to need to explain to me all about the Dwarvish courtship thing."

 

Thorin, looking much more hopeful, grabbed his fork and knife and began eating.

 

~*~

 

By the end of the day, he found himself and his things housed in a stunning room inside the palace of Dale's king. Apparently whenever the royal line of Erebor came to Dale, they stayed there, and with him being courted by the Crown Prince – that part seemed to have eluded him until it was explained in detail that Thorin really was the eldest son of the king...Bilbo may have hyperventilated a bit at that – he was given a room as well.

 

The Dwarves and Bilbo were at a table in the king's dining hall, having dinner alone, because the king was abed with a summer illness, and the queen and their children were away visiting family in Rohan. The king was hardly at death's door, but miserable enough for Thorin to bid him to stay in bed and only concern himself with getting well, that their business in Dale was personal and they were not in need of a host.

 

The tall Dwarf with the rather odd hair – he was bald on the sides, but there was a rather ample lot of hair on top of his head that ran down the center toward the back and stuck straight up – was indeed Dwalin, who kept smirking at the two all throughout the day.

 

Bilbo stared back, with an expression that clearly showed what he thought of the Dwarf's behavior.

 

"He could kill you with both hands tied behind his back," Thorin told him, clearly amused by the two of them.

 

"And I could knock him out cold with a well-aimed rock to several different places before he ever got near me," Bilbo replied, smiling softly when the Dwarves roared with laughter.

 

"So," Dwalin said, eying him with amusement and approval, "where is this Shire?"

 

"In Eriador," Bilbo said, thinking for a moment about a place near the Shire they might know. "Where I live within the Shire, Hobbiton, is a little less than seventy leagues northeast of the southern half of the Ered Luin. Other parts of the Shire are quite a bit closer, obviously, as it is a fairly good-sized land. My home is rather in the center of our lands."

 

"Do you know the Dwarrows of Ered Luin?" Thorin asked curiously. He knew there were Dwarrows there, but they did not have much contact with them.

 

Bilbo nodded. "They have been traders and friends with the Hobbits for centuries. Part of the realm of Belegost survived in the southern half of the Blue Mountains, and they've built upon it, as I'm sure you know. Those Hobbits who have seen it say it's quite beautiful there."

 

"Hobbits have traveled there?" Dwalin asked. "Sounds most unusual for those other than Dwarves to seek out the area."

 

Bilbo shrugged. "Some of the Tooks have, and the Brandybucks. A few from various other families here and there. Of course, most of those were married to Dwarves, and they often come with the traders to visit their families."

 

"It is not known to us that Dwarrows there married Hobbits. How did that come about?" Thorin asked.

 

Bilbo shrugged. "It was long before my time, but I suppose how anyone finds anyone. A Dwarf came down for trading, met a Hobbit lad or lass...perhaps his _One,"_ Bilbo said, looking pointedly at Thorin, who had the grace to blush a little, "and they courted and married. As it goes, they discovered that Hobbits and Dwarves have similar aging, and are quite compatible for having children."

 

Bilbo glanced at Dwalin. "Hobbits do have a fairly easy time of it becoming with child and carrying them than Dwarf-women, it seems, and we are often more inclined to marry than many of your women are. So, from time to time, Dwarves would come, find a lad or lass they fancied, courted and married, and had cute little half-Dwarf children, who apparently had an easier time of it having children with other Dwarves, like their Hobbit parent, and it had the added benefit of strengthening the Dwarf bloodlines."

 

"Wait," one of the others said, staring at him with wide eyes, "you're saying that Hobbit women can have Dwarrows' children?"

 

"Yes, and not just the lasses," Bilbo said, cutting into a piece of apple pie. "We lads are quite capable of conceiving ourselves."

 

Thorin choked and Bilbo clapped him on the back. "You're telling me that you can..."

 

"Have children? Yes," Bilbo said, enjoying the stunned look on Thorin's face. "And the Dwarves of Ered Luin have taken to them quite well. They're not all that much different from Dwarves, usually. They tend to be larger than most Hobbits, as we do vary in size, from two to four feet, and are often within the range of the smallest Dwarves... I am quite tall for a Hobbit, at four-foot-five, but that's the Dwarvish blood in my family line down great-grandpa Bullroarer's line. They actually stayed in the Shire, which isn't the usual way of things for these sorts of families.

 

"The half-Dwarves who marry other Dwarves have children closer to the average size of Dwarves. They often have the slightly pointed ears of their Hobbit parent, and the curly hair, at least until it grows long enough for it to be weighed down a bit. They have beards, even when born, and usually have Dwarvish shaped feet, though they often have the soles of Hobbits, making it easy for them to walk without shoes. They usually share an equal amount of love for stone and earth, and enjoy Dwarvish crafting as much as tilling the earth and growing things. Makes for a most interesting blend."

 

"It does not bother them at all, the Dwarrows, to mix their blood with another race?" Dwalin asked, obviously shocked to his very core by the thought of lads having children, if his eyes, which kept flicking downwards while looking at Bilbo, were any indication.

 

"No. They were a dying people. Fewer and fewer children were being born to them, until they began to take Hobbit spouses. Their people thrive now, even after only a few generations," Bilbo said. "I could have fled there, but as I have many relatives within Belegost, my family could have easily tracked me down there. It's the first place the nosier of the Bagginses would have looked."

 

"So you are related to many of the Dwarvish children there?" another Dwarf, one whose name he didn't know, asked.

 

Bilbo nodded. "Yes, many of the Hobbits who have married Dwarves are from the Took family, which is a rather large extended family. My mother was a Took. Two of my aunts and one of my uncles are married to Dwarves. Last I heard, one of my other uncles was in the middle of being courted by the ruler's son. The Thain, my grandfather, was rather pleased, because it would help strengthen the ties between the two lands even more."

 

"What is a Thain?" Thorin asked.

 

"The Thain is the one who presides over the entire Shire. If you were to equate it to royalty, he would be King, I suppose," Bilbo said, reaching for another roll.

 

"So you would be a prince, so to speak," Dwalin said.

 

"Yes, I suppose, sort of, but unless something rather drastic wiped out a large part of the family, being Thain is something I never have to worry about. My mother was ninth of eleven children, and all of her older siblings are married and have children, and some of their children already have children of their own."

 

"Eleven?" one of the guards squeaked out. "Are all families so large?"

 

Shrugging, Bilbo reached for the cinnamon butter to spread on his roll. "Some of them are. It really depends on the Hobbit and how many they want to have. Some, like my parents, only have one. Of course, they died very young. I know when my father died, they had decided on having another. He died five years ago, and my mother lingered for three years before succumbing to her broken heart."

 

Thorin reached over and rested his hand on Bilbo's forearm. "I am sorry about your parents."

 

Nodding, Bilbo smiled wanly at Thorin and patted his hand and then resumed their conversation, not wanting to think too hard on them right now. "I believe the average comes out to about five children, with some having only one or two, and others having ten or more. I know the families amongst the Dwarves tend to have at least four children, but often more."

 

"By Mahal, that is a gift to them," Dwalin murmured.

 

"I am certain he had a hand in it at any rate. We _are_ Yavanna's children," Bilbo said, finally taking a bite of his roll. After seeing the manners of those around them, Bilbo thought nothing of talking around his mouthful. "Tell me of your family, Thorin."

 

Thorin sighed while Dwalin chuckled. "You met my father, King Thrain...well, sort of. I know he may have seemed rather cross, and his harping on me to wed and his means in getting me to be that way may seem harsh, but usually he is a much kinder man, and he has been a good father to us, and a good husband to my mother. I think he will take kindly to you, especially after hearing you can give him grandchildren. He _longs_ for grandchildren to spoil."

 

Bilbo laughed at that. "Sounds like a typical grandparent."  
  


"My mother, Marís, is a delight, and you will love her. She is very kind and has a steel spine. She has been away with my sister, visiting our kin in the Iron Hills, which is why my father is trying to force me into a marriage contract now. She would not allow it, but could do nothing once it was done," Thorin said, his love for his mother written all over his face.

 

"And she is a beautiful lady, our Queen is," Dwalin added. "She is as tall as Thorin. She has beautiful, flowing blonde hair, a rather exquisite blonde, braided beard, piercing blue eyes – Thorin has her eyes – and a smile that lights up whatever room she is in. She also has a tongue on her that can rip the hide right off of ya, if you do something spectacularly stupid, as all of her children have found out at one time or another."

 

Bilbo burst out laughing at the glare on Thorin's face. "Oh! She sounds rather like my mother. I cannot wait to meet her."

 

Thorin continued to look at Dwalin. "I seem to recall you, Dwalin, being on the receiving end of my mother's tongue lashings more than once yourself."

 

"Only when whatever I did involved you. You were horrid at getting caught," Dwalin replied, and went back to slicing his meat.

 

Choosing to ignore Dwalin, Thorin turned back to Bilbo. "My brother, Frerin, is much like my mother in looks."

 

"Blond, beautiful, and outrageously flirtatious and mischievous. When – not if...when – you see him get a gleam in his eyes, run, because he is about to do something rather naughty," one of the other Dwarves said.

 

Bilbo really needed to ask their names later on. "Sounds like things are never boring with him around. He'd fit right in with the Took family."

 

"Perhaps we should take him to the Shire and marry him off there," Dwalin said, grinning at Thorin.

 

"Just what you need in Erebor's royal bloodline...two Tooks," Bilbo said, chuckling.

 

"The Dwarrows in Ered Luin seem to thrive with many, so I do believe we would be safe," Thorin said, chuckling as he cut open another roasted potato and dressed it with butter, cheese, and a spice blend he enjoyed.

 

"Then there is the youngest of us, my sister, Dís. She is much like me in appearance... When she dresses as a male – it's safer for our women-folk to travel as males, as it protects them from those who would attack otherwise to harm our people's chances of survival – it is very difficult to distinguish between us unless you know us both."

 

Bilbo slowly gave Thorin a once-over, smiling when the Dwarf blushed. "So she's quite beautiful, then."

 

"Yes, very," Dwalin agreed, grinning at Thorin like a cat who found the cream.

 

Just then the dining hall door burst open behind them.

 

"Brother!"

 

Thorin's shoulders slumped and he hung his head. "Mahal save us," he muttered.

 

Bilbo's shoulders shook even as he pressed his lips together to keep the laughter at bay. "Frerin?" he murmured as he leaned close to Thorin.

 

"Frerin," Thorin confirmed, and then he pushed his chair out and stood. Turning to his brother, he glared at him. "What are you doing here, Frerin?"

 

"Adad told me _all_ about meeting your One, and I just had to come and meet him for myself," Frerin said, striding forward and embracing his brother. "I couldn't bear waiting."

 

Thorin, who looked annoyed, embraced him warmly and without reluctance. "How angry is he?"

 

 _"Furious,"_ Frerin said with a laugh. "You are to marry a _male_ , Mahal save _you_ , and that will not get him what he wants. The Arkenstone may have been Grandfather's greatest treasure, but we all know Adad is still waiting for his. That you turned down an excellent political match and someone who could give him grandchildren has got his smalls rather in a knot."

 

Even as Bilbo laughed silently behind his hand, he sent up a prayer of thanks to both Yavanna and Mahal that it wasn't Frerin he'd met and got into this predicament with, because he had a feeling that being courted and wed to him would be _tiring._ Still, Bilbo couldn't help but like him already.

 

Thorin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "At least some of his irritation will be eased when we meet next, but that does not explain why you could not wait for a few days to meet Bilbo."

 

"Bilbo? Is that his name?" Frerin asked, side-stepping his brother and striding up to the table, even as Bilbo calmed himself and stood up.

 

Bilbo bowed. "Bilbo Baggins, at your service, Prince Frerin."

 

"Oh, please, just call me Frerin. You're to be family. No need to stand on ceremony," Frerin said, dropping down to one knee and surprising Bilbo by pulling him into a big hug. Then he pushed Bilbo back to arm's length, hands still on Bilbo's arms. "My, you are a lovely Hobbit. My father neglected to mention that. You are _very_ lucky, brother."

 

"I am well aware," Thorin said, casually dislodging Bilbo from Frerin's grip and pulling him closer to himself, his arms sliding around Bilbo rather possessively. Bilbo, to his surprise, found he didn't mind very much at all. "Why don't you join us, since you're here? There is a seat available on the _other_ side of the table."

 

Frerin's eyes danced with mirth and he nodded, taking the empty place setting across from Thorin, and helping himself to the abundance of food still left. "So what was the topic of discussion when I graced all of you with my royal, majestic presence?"

 

"I do not know, but in our world, where you inflicted your annoying presence on our otherwise delightful evening, we were discussing Dís and Thorin's beautiful likenesses," Dwalin said, barely grunting when Frerin punched him hard in the arm.

 

"You love and adore my very existence, Dwalin. Do not pretend otherwise," Frerin said airily, before turning to Bilbo. "But yes, my brother and sister are extremely beautiful. Our family doesn't quite fit the usual definition of Dwarven beauty, but there is no denying we are quite sought after because of our attractiveness. There are many Dwarrowdams who will be weeping into their forges when they discover Thorin is no longer available to them."

 

Frerin frowned then. "Of course, that means that now I will be on the chopping block. When does Amad come home again?"

 

Thorin chuckled. "She should be home by this time next month. Do not worry. We will protect what's left of your virtue until then."

 

"If Adad gets too insistent, I will simply run away to wherever your beautiful Hobbit is from. If they're all as lovely and adorable as he is, I just may find my own One among them," Frerin said, smiling when Bilbo blushed.

 

Thorin chuckled. "You may at that. Apparently the Dwarrows who reside in Ered Luin have been finding spouses with the Shirelings for centuries, and having children with them."

 

Frerin looked up in surprise at that. "Truly?"

 

Thorin nodded. "I will explain later." Then he turned back to Bilbo. "My sister is already wed, to a Dwarf called Víli. He is an attractive, ginger-haired Dwarf, and not nearly as stupid as I thought he would be after our first meeting."

 

Frerin chuckled. "Aye, he seemed rather a dolt upon first meeting, but he was very nervous. Dís said he was rather an idiot the first time they met as well. He does better after the first meeting."

 

"He is rather shy and was very nervous meeting the entire royal family. Once he became used to us, he fit right in," Thorin said.

 

"Yes, we're rather fond of him now," Frerin replied as he cut into his meat. "He warmed up after he realized we weren't going to gut him or slit his throat for daring to look at our sister."

 

"Master Baggins won't have that problem. Apparently he's quite capable of knocking us out with rocks long before we can get near him," Dwalin said, winking at Bilbo when he snorted and sent him a half-hearted glare.

 

"I will demonstrate my capabilities sooner than you might think if you continue, you cheeky Dwarf," Bilbo said, trying not to smile when Dwalin smiled back at him, completely unrepentant. The others around them roared with laughter. It seemed many of the Dwarves couldn't find their amusement at lower volumes, but as he came from a family line full of rather rambunctious characters, Bilbo didn't mind.

 

"Oh, yes, he's going to fit quite well within the family," Frerin said to Thorin. "You had best keep him close, or I may steal him for myself."

 

Thorin snorted though he wrapped his left arm around Bilbo's shoulders. "Find your own Hobbit."

 

"I may have to do just that." Frerin winked at him again.

 

Bilbo, rolling his eyes, went back to his dinner while the two brothers planned on how to deal with their father.

 

~*~

 

The next day, Bilbo headed back to the marketplace, but this time he was accompanied by Thorin, Frerin, and the guards, who did not seem easy with letting him out of their sight, much to Bilbo's amusement.

 

"You know, this is going to be rather boring for you," Bilbo said, looking between the Dwarves. "I'm not going to run for Greenwood to get out of this or anything, but if I am going to be living in Erebor, I am going to need some things."

 

"And we are here to help you carry them," Thorin said, guiding Bilbo through the crowd, his hand firm against the middle of Bilbo's back. "Now, do you know what you're looking for?"

 

"Well, to start, I am going to need more clothing than I have at the moment, and I doubt that pre-made clothing in this area is going to be designed with someone of my size and stature in mind," Bilbo said, looking up at Thorin.

 

Chuckling, Frerin slung an arm around Bilbo's shoulders, ignoring Thorin's glare. "This is very true, my fine Hobbit. I am certain, however, that we can find you some lovely cloth, and we have some of the finest Clothworkers in Middle-Earth residing in Erebor. They can make you some fine clothing that is both suitable to your tastes and practical for living within a Mountain."

 

"See, now, that's something I'm a bit concerned about," Bilbo said, turning to Thorin. He didn't miss the smug look Thorin threw in his brother's direction because Bilbo addressed him and not Frerin, but he ignored it. "Residing inside a Mountain. You see, while our homes are underground, they are not nearly so...big." He glanced over at the massive mountain that was not too far from where they now stood. "We are used to sunlight...a lot of sunlight."

 

Thorin nodded thoughtfully. "We do have an unused suite in the royal area that has a massive balcony. There was once a Queen who – for Dwarvish standards, mind you – had a great fondness for gardens and green things, as well as being in the sun. Her husband, being so in love with his One, had the suite and the balcony built for her. As I said, it is not used, for no one now has such a need for a balcony like that. Would that please you?"

 

Bilbo grinned up at him. "That would be perfect! And you said it's set up for a garden as well?"

 

"Yes, a rather large one. If it pleases you, then it will be yours, to use as you please," Thorin said, smiling down at him.

 

Bilbo nearly bounced, he was so excited at the prospect of starting his own garden from scratch. "I will have to make a list of what I need once I see it with my own eyes, and decide what I want to do with it," he muttered to himself. Then he looked back at Thorin. "Does the suite perchance have a kitchen?"

 

"Yes, a large, fully functional one, with multiple pantries and cold boxes," Thorin said. "This same Queen loved to cook what she grew. I take it you are fond of cooking."

 

"Yes, very much so. Cooking and growing things are a Hobbit's two greatest passions," Bilbo said, his mind already going over what he might be able to grow.

 

"Now that that's settled, shall we go and look at the material?" Frerin asked, amusement lighting his eyes.

 

"I would like that, yes," Bilbo said, taking Thorin's arm when he offered it.

 

It didn't take long to find himself back in the area of the marketplace where he and Thorin originally met, and soon both he and Frerin were sorting through bolts of cloth while Thorin and the others watched them with undisguised amusement.

 

"This would look dashing on you," Frerin said, holding a thick burgundy material against Bilbo's chest. "Especially for a long jacket, with perhaps some gold or silver thread to accent it around the edging. Wouldn't it, brother?"

 

Thorin eyed it critically and nodded. "I believe so. They also have the same material in dark blue and deep forest green. Get all three, and he can have a variety."

 

"I hardly need three coats," Bilbo tried to protest, but Frerin shook his head.

 

"We are much further north than where you showed us the Shire was on the map last night, Bilbo, and the Mountain is quite cool inside, even during the summer months. You will be glad for them. It's why I said the Clothworkers would help you with clothing that would be appropriate for Erebor. It is summer now, but winter will be coming far too soon."

 

"Does it snow here?" Bilbo asked Frerin as the Dwarf handed over all three and asked for ten lengths of each one. "And I don't need that much material."

 

"It's to keep it on hand, in case something happens to one of the others," Frerin said. "Don't argue. And yes, it snows here. One day you will walk out the front gates and see a blanket of white. It is rather lovely, before the children and many of the adults get into it and ruin the view with their snow battles and building their snow-dwarrows."

 

"I do believe I will be needing boots before then," Bilbo said, frowning. "We do not usually wear shoes, but we often have boots for those rare times snow comes down hard in the Shire. Our feet don't take too kindly to the ice and we avoid walking barefoot in it if given a choice."

 

"We can have boots made for you," Thorin said, coming closer to the stall and picking up a lovely blue cloth. "We have fine Leatherworkers as well, and they can design you a pair that will fit you perfectly and keep your feet warm without being too heavy." Then he glanced at Frerin. "What do you think about this for Amad?"

 

"That's gorgeous. She'll love it." Frerin picked up another bolt of material, this one in black. "This would be ideal for night clothes." He turned to look at the merchant. "Do you have this in other colors?"

 

"Yes, your highness, I do believe I have it in several other colors. Just one moment." The merchant stepped into the tented back area.

 

Bilbo fingered the material Frerin was holding. It was thick and soft to the touch, finer and unlike any material he could find in the Shire. It reminded him a little of the material of some of the Elven robes he'd seen in Imladris. It would feel heavenly against his skin. "I would rather enjoy wearing this, I think."

 

Frerin grinned and winked at him, before leaning over and whispering, "And I believe my brother would enjoy peeling it off you."

 

Bilbo flushed red and glared at him, though his mouth twitched just a bit as he tried not to smile. Frerin was completely without shame, but Bilbo did enjoy his company. It was a shame that the whole thing was a farce, because he thought he would have rather liked having Frerin as family. "Mind your manners, Master Dwarf, or you will see how quickly I can find a pebble or two."

 

Frerin laughed and went on looking, and Bilbo turned to find Thorin frowning at Frerin. "He's simply being himself," Bilbo said, patting Thorin's arm.

 

"It is not appropriate to make advances toward another's intended," Thorin murmured as he went back to perusing the materials.

 

"Oh, he wasn't making advances," Bilbo said, chuckling. "And it would be of no concern to me if he were, because I have no interest in him other than as a friend."

 

Thorin looked rather pleased by that comment. When the merchant returned with six bolts of cloth, all in different colors, he said, "We'll take all seven bolts, and this one as well. All of the purchases are to be put on the tab for the royal line of Erebor." Seeing Bilbo's look of surprise, he said, "Frerin will likely want to have something made from them as well, the way he's salivating over them, and what is not used will likely be purchased by the Clothworkers for their stores. It will not go to waste."

 

Bilbo nodded. "I can purchase my own things, you know," he said.

 

Thorin fingered the courting braid he'd fashioned in Bilbo's hair the night before, as he officially declared his intentions in front of his brother and Dwalin. "When I took you for my intended, it made it my responsibility to see to your needs, especially since I have uprooted you from your home in order to make this courtship happen."

 

Then he leaned down and whispered into Bilbo's ear, "Even if it were not, I would still pay for these things, as you are doing me a great great favor, and it is the least I could do to repay you for your help. Indulge me in allowing to spend some of my father's gold, because he has far too much of it to ever make a dent in it, even if I were to buy out the entire marketplace for you."

 

"All right, if it will please you," Bilbo said, leaning into him when Thorin's arm went around his shoulder, and then he went back to perusing the materials.

 

~*~

 

Their next stop was at Bilbo's insistence... It was a scribe's stall, and it had the most delightful selection, far better than anything he'd seen before. There were inks of all colors, quills of various sizes, parchments and journals, charcoals for sketching... and lap writing desks, some of them so ornate and beautiful, they took his breath away.

 

"Uh-oh...I think we've lost him, Thorin," Frerin said from behind him. "He's looking at this shop the way you look at weaponry."

 

Ignoring them, Bilbo moved about, looking at the different writing desks, peeking inside some of them, wanting one that was both practical and beautiful.

 

"What about this one?" Thorin asked, lifting one from the top of a shelf that was so high Bilbo couldn't see what was there. Thorin himself had to stand on a stool just to get to it.

 

It was, in a word...exquisite. It was made of oak, sanded smooth and polished until it shone. The lock itself was crafted gold, in the shape of a rose, the petals around the lock decorated with thin slivers of rubies. Winding away from lock on the top and bottom half of the desk were long vines of gold, with emerald encrusted leaves.

 

Carefully opening the latch, Bilbo found sections for many inks, for quills, and plenty of space for paper and journals. "It's perfect. My mother would have loved this."

 

Thorin's eyes went soft at that. "Then this is the one you'll have. Pick out whatever else you wish, while I go and speak to the merchant."

 

Bilbo quietly went about picking out inks of several colors, as well as quills, parchment, and a few journals. After a few moments, he picked up some lesser parchment and several charcoals, so that he could make plans for his garden.

 

~*~

 

Two hours later, Bilbo was standing at the edge of one of the weaponry stalls, watching with amusement as all of the Dwarves practically salivated over the swords. It did not seem to matter that Dwarves mostly made their own weaponry. It was simply that they were weapons. He did have to admit that some of the Elven blades for purchase were rather beautiful.

 

"I did not think to find you at such a stall, Master Baggins."

 

Bilbo turned and looked up and then up some more, grinning when he found none other than Thranduil, Legolas, and Elrond's sons Elrohir and Elladan standing behind him. "Thranduil! What are you doing here?" he asked, giving the Elven King a hug when he knelt down.

 

He did the same with the other Elves as Thranduil spoke. "I became terribly bored with my councilmen and Elrond's bickering over the details of some agreement, so I decided that I needed some time away while they managed to figure out what exactly it is each of them wants to accomplish. I had been hoping to run into you. How has your visit been so far?"

 

"Rather eventful, but I have been enjoying myself," Bilbo said, but before he could elaborate, he heard the clearing of a throat behind him.

 

He turned and saw Thorin and the others watching the Elves with the slightest hint of suspicion. Looking back and forth between Thranduil and Thorin, he got the distinct impression that the two were not the best of friends. Elrohir and Elladan looked amused, and Legolas looked exasperated.

 

"From the love and adoration I'm feeling floating between you, I take it you two know each other," Bilbo said dryly, rolling his eyes.

 

"Yes, though I did not know you knew the King of Greenwood," Thorin said, stepping forward and pulling Bilbo back toward him, his arm going around him in a possessive manner.

 

"He came through my realm on his way here," Thranduil said, eyebrows rising at Thorin's behavior. "He stayed for some days and we spent much time talking. He's quite a delightful young Hobbit."

 

"Yes, I've noticed. And quite friendly. Too friendly, one might say. I will have to make certain he does not befriend those who would not be great allies to him," Thorin replied.

 

"Clearly he needs some guidance," Thranduil agreed, his eyes narrowing as he took in the braid in Bilbo's hair, the one Thorin was deliberately toying with.

 

Bilbo rolled his eyes and pulled away from Thorin. "While the two of you proceed to take out certain appendages from your breeches and begin judging just whose is bigger, I am going with Legolas to the book stall across the way over there. There are just some things a son shouldn't see his father do."

 

With that, he tugged on the tunic of Legolas, who was laughing loudly and drawing the appreciative gazes of many around him, and guided him to the book stall. "All right, what was all _that_ about?"

 

Legolas sighed, leaning against the counter as Bilbo looked through the books while he listened. "To be blunt and not bore you with hours upon hours of details and histories, Dwarves and Elves have had a bit of animosity between them over the Ages. On the part of my father, it stems from our King's death. He was killed by Dwarves from Nogrod after tasking them with a job of putting one of the Silmarils in Nauglamír, one of the finest pieces the Dwarves were commissioned to make from the treasure of Doriath. The slaying of the king put into motion events that would eventually bring about the destruction of Doriath, and the scattering of our people, because a few Dwarves wanted to take what was not theirs to have. Things between the Dwarves and Elves have escalated until we are as you see us now, barely tolerating one another. My father was born in Doriath, and was a good friend of the royal family. He not only lost his home, but also many he loved. Unfortunately, he has a tendency to paint all Dwarves with the same brush."

 

"It's hardly the fault of the Dwarves of Erebor what those few did," Bilbo murmured, and then he huffed. "We Hobbits have never had issues with the Dwarves. We've married and have had children with them for centuries, and never has anything of the sort come up, although we hardly deal with gold or jewels. We much prefer green, growing things, good food, and the comforts of a warm, solid roof over our heads."

 

Legolas nodded. "The Silmarils were a bane on the Elves' existence, no matter what some still might say, and I am glad they are gone. But bad blood was created on both sides, and neither is quite willing to forget it. For my part, I hold no grudges against the Dwarves, and find their behavior annoying at best," he said, motioning toward the other stall, where the two in question were still staring across the way at Bilbo, both looking rather shocked and scandalized. Elrohir and Elladan were holding each other up as they laughed, and Dwalin, Frerin, and the guards looked highly amused themselves.

 

"Thank you for telling me. Now, let's see if I can't find a few books with which to pass the time," Bilbo said, turning back to the shelves and ignoring his intended and the Elvenking.

 

"Especially since it seems you will be staying in Erebor for some time," Legolas said, flicking the bead on his braid.

 

Bilbo flushed. "Long story, and one best not got into anytime soon. Just know that I know what I'm doing and am doing it of my own choice."

 

"You are an adult and know your own mind," Legolas said. "I make no judgments."

 

"Let us hope your father takes the same stance, or I just might have to poke him in the arse with my Elvish dagger," Bilbo said, smiling when Legolas laughed again, and then began helping him pick out several titles he thought Bilbo might enjoy.

 

~*~

 

Thorin was in a mood for the rest of the day, since Thranduil insisted on following Bilbo around and talking to him, even purchasing him a few things to clearly get under Thorin's skin. His mood turned even more sour when he discovered that Thranduil and his party would be staying with at the royal castle as well.

 

Dinner was a stilted affair for the most part, though Bilbo did his best to be diplomatic. It helped that Frerin took great pleasure in flirting with every Elf, including Thranduil, and Legolas, Elrohir, and Elladan were delightful, drawing in the guards with talk of sword fighting and knife work, however grudgingly the Dwarves did so. Bilbo was somewhat glad the king was still too ill to join them, so he did not have to witness the whole thing.

 

After dinner, not wanting to deal with the tension in the air, Bilbo excused himself to go to his rooms. He was not surprised when Thorin followed him out of the dining hall and to his door.

 

He let Thorin in, closing the door behind him. "Whatever you wish to say, out with it," Bilbo said with exasperation as he flopped down onto the sofa and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

 

"I am sorry."

 

Well, that wasn't quite what he was expecting. "For?" Bilbo asked when no elaboration was forthcoming.

 

"For my behavior," Thorin said, sitting down next to him and sighing. "You're right when you said we are not the greatest of friends, but we are allies. And I took my irritation with him out on you as well. I should not have, and I am sorry."

 

Bilbo nodded and moved over, reaching for Thorin's arm and slinging it around his shoulders, even as he snuggled back into his side. "Apology accepted. I would like to know why he irritated you so. He is only a friend, and he was very kind to me when I was in his realm. It was his people who escorted me here so that I would not lose my way or come to harm."

 

"He...showed you great affection. I did not like it," Thorin admitted, after several moments of silence. "He and the others touched you in ways only family and the closest of friends should touch one who wears a courting braid. You may not have known it, but he certainly knew he was making slights toward me."

 

Bilbo sifted through all that and grinned when he realized that Thorin was jealous. "Indeed I did not know. What he did was not unusual among Hobbits in showing affection for our friends. We are a tactile people, but we do hold certain affections back for those we court and marry."

 

"Such as?" Thorin asked curiously.

 

"Kisses, for one thing. Holding hands, once we reach a certain age." Bilbo got up on his knees and turned toward Thorin, leaning until their foreheads rested against one another. "Moving into their personal space in such a way." He leaned even closer and nuzzled their noses together. "Doing this."

 

Thorin tilted his head slightly and brought their mouths together in a slow, gentle, chaste kiss that had the hair on Bilbo's feet curling nonetheless. "Yes, that," Bilbo murmured as they parted several moments later.

 

"So you are saying I have no cause to worry," Thorin said, smiling a little, the light coming back to his eyes.

 

"That is exactly what I am saying, you silly Dwarf. Now, we both know it is not appropriate for you to stay with me any length of time at this point in our courtship, according to Dwarvish standards, so off you go," Bilbo said, removing himself from temptation and helping Thorin up.

 

At the door, Thorin leaned down and kissed him again, before stepping out, and Bilbo watched him walk down to his own rooms, only closing the door when Thorin disappeared from sight. Then he leaned against it and blew out a deep breath.

 

He was in _so_ much trouble.

 

~*~

 

The next day went far better, with Thranduil being far less antagonistic and Thorin far more congenial. Bilbo didn't know why Thranduil was behaving better; he was just glad he was.

 

He also got to meet Dorian, the King of Dale, who was an older but very kind Man, and they spent much time speaking with him.

 

The day after that, they said goodbye to King Dorian and the Elves, Bilbo extracting a promise from Elrohir and Elladan to come for a visit to the Lonely Mountain before they traveled back to Rivendell, and made their way the short distance to Erebor, the two wagons with drivers they'd rented following behind with all the things they'd purchased.

 

Bilbo looked up at the enormous gates as they walked up to them, having dismounted their ponies and handed them off to the stable hands. Thorin, helping him with his personal belongings, guided him inside, where Bilbo stopped and stared in awe.

 

Inside the Mountain was magnificent. The halls were so tall and wide that even several of the biggest of trolls would have no issue walking about side by side. There were many statues of Dwarves who were likely vastly important to their history, ornate carvings directly on the stone walls and pillars that depicted battles and the crafts they were so well-known for. Self-illuminating crystals hung in enormous, elaborate chandeliers, lighting up the open spaces, and lanterns for those areas the light couldn't reach easily.

 

There was a bustle of activity, with many Dwarves moving to and fro, on their way to whatever business they had. Many of them, once they caught sight of the Princes, bowed to them. Some of them glanced at Bilbo with curiosity before going on their way.

 

"Come, Bilbo. I will show you to your rooms. Dwalin, will you give orders concerning our purchases?"

 

"I will go and alert Adad to our presence in Erebor," Frerin said, waving at them and rushing off to the left.

 

Dwalin nodded and headed back outside, and then Thorin guided Bilbo toward the right, to a large staircase. "This leads up to the residence halls and to the Royal Wing. It will take some getting used to finding your way around."

 

"I'm certain I will manage eventually," Bilbo said, climbing the stairs, grateful for the railings on both sides of the staircase. Hobbits did not do well with heights, but it did not stop him from gazing all around for the several minutes it took them to climb. "I knew it would be big, but I don't think I could ever have imagined it could be so grand."

 

Thorin chuckled. "Wait until you see the view from the throne room and from the marketplaces," he said, guiding him through a hall that broke off from the staircase about two-thirds of the way up. "I wrote ahead and had the rooms for you aired and cleaned out, and everything checked over to make sure it was in working order. They should be ready for you."

 

They walked together in comfortable silence for several minutes, as they traversed the seemingly never-ending hallway. They passed several doors to the left and the right sides. "Who lives in these rooms?"

 

"These mainly belong to those who are on the Royal Councils, as well as rooms for the Kingsguards. Dwalin's room is this one here," he said, pointing to a doorway coming up on the right side of the hall. His brother, Balin, is our Chief Schoolmaster and one of my personal advisers. His rooms are directly opposite Dwalin's. He would be the best to go to if you need help with learning our customs or for any educational purposes you may need."

 

"Are your rooms nearby?" Bilbo asked, taking Thorin's hand in his as they turned a corner and went down another hall, this time to the left.

 

"My sister's chambers are directly across from yours. Frerin's are to the left of yours on the same side. Mine are just beyond his," Thorin said. "My parents' chambers are down the hall that way." He pointed in the opposite direction they were going.

 

After another minute or so, they came to a large set of double doors. Bilbo looked at him questioningly, and upon seeing his nod, he handed over his bundles and reached out and turned the handles.

 

The doors swung open without a sound and with great ease as he pushed, in spite of the thickness of the wood. Bilbo stepped inside, and his mouth dropped open as he took in the view before him.

 

He likely could fit all of Bag End into the main room, with some room left over to spare. Three large chandeliers lit the entire room, much like the ones in the main hall. There was an enormous fireplace in the center of the far wall, so big that Bilbo himself could stand inside of it without hitting his head. There was a fire crackling merrily in it, warming the room.

 

In front of the fireplace was the main sitting area, consisting of several chairs, two sofas, and a large stone table. Underneath the sitting area was a massive rug, the design like nothing he had ever seen before. There were two other smaller sitting areas in the room. All of the furniture looked plush and comfortable.

 

To the left side of the room, there were two main doorways. To the right, bright light shone through the open doorway that led out to the balcony Thorin had spoken of. On either side of the fireplace were two open doorways that seemed to lead to halls.

 

"I will show you around the suite, but first, come outside. This is why you have these rooms, after all," Thorin said, taking Bilbo's hand again and tugging him toward the balcony.

 

Balcony was too small a word for it, Bilbo decided, as he stepped out onto the massive terrace that dwarfed the main room inside. Not only did it jet out far from the doors, but it meandered to the right and left, covering a great distance.

 

There were no growing things, all of the beds having been cleaned out long ago, but there were so many areas where he could plant, some of them large enough for a small series of crops. He could plant potatoes enough in one of the larger beds to last him all winter and into spring, if he so chose.

 

There was room enough to put benches and garden furniture outside, as well as picnic tables, with so much room to spare. To the far left was a small stone building that Bilbo guessed was for equipment. To the far right, a larger glass building that looked like it might be a hothouse. A few panes of glass were missing, but that could easily be set to rights.

 

"This is...there are no words," Bilbo said, walking over to the edge of the balcony and looking out on the view and enjoying the feel of the sun on his face.

 

"So you like it?"

 

Bilbo laughed and reached up so he could pull Thorin down into a kiss. "I love it. This is magnificent, and I look forward to all I can do with it."

 

Thorin, looking pleased, said, "There is an irrigation system set up for the entire balcony. It should be in working order and once you're ready for it, I can have one of the engineers come up and show you how it works."

 

Bilbo nodded and slid an arm around Thorin's waist. "Come, now show me my new home."

 

Thorin guided him inside and down the hall to the right of the fireplace. "This is the dining room," he said, reaching to the right of the door and pulling on a set of strings.

 

A large set of draperies lifted from another chandelier, which lit the entire room. The room was long, lined on one side with glass-front cabinets that held fine china. The centerpiece of the room though was the massive dining table, which filled the long room. There was room enough for thirty people to be comfortable, and could probably fit forty in a pinch.

 

Thorin dropped the draperies again, and led him further down the hall. "These to the right are your storage areas. Not for food, mind you, but for cleaning supplies or whatever else you might wish to put inside them. And this is the kitchen," he said, pushing open another set of double doors, though these were much smaller and simply swung open, with no lock to hinder movement.

 

The kitchen was much more than Bilbo dared dream about. There were two large stoves, several ovens, at least four of what Thorin called cold boxes, two of them quite large, and blocks of ice were already stored inside. There were pantries and cabinets scattered throughout the large space. There were two large sinks, each of them sporting running water, both hot and cold.

 

"Oh, I am so going to spoil you with this once I get it all situated," Bilbo said, peering into one of the pantries, surprised to see how deep it went. "When this king made these rooms for his bride, he really went all out, didn't he?"

 

"A Dwarf will do anything to make his One happy," Thorin replied. "Come. Let me show you the master bedroom and the bath."

 

They made their way down the left hallway, where he briefly showed him two large bedrooms, which were intended to be rooms for children. Then he opened the door to the right.

 

It was the bathing room. At the center was an enormous sunken tub, so large that four adult Dwarves could fit easily. There was a large cabinet for towels and linens, and two toilets, each having their own separate rooms, blocking them off from the main bathing area for privacy.

 

Four sinks lined the left wall, and a mirror spanned the area above them. Next to the one furthest to the right was a door, which Thorin was leading him to.

 

"I am definitely taking advantage of this room later tonight," Bilbo said, eying the tub thoughtfully. "You are _not_ invited."

 

"That would be most scandalous if you did invite me. Adad would not approve," Thorin said, smiling down at him. "And this is your bedroom."

 

"Oh my," Bilbo said, his eyes going straight to the bed, which could hold five adult Hobbits easily, with room to spare. It was canopied, with deep purple drapes tied back with golden rope. The blanket covering it was a lighter shade of purple. There were three different wardrobes, two doors that led to closets where lines of hangars waited to be used, and what his mother called a vanity. There were also bookshelves that Bilbo planned on lining with his new books and the trinkets he'd purchased.

 

"This door leads back out into the hallway," Thorin said, escorting him back out to the main room. "This door is to an office, and the other to what could be a third bedroom, or whatever you choose to use it for. It's unfurnished, but once you decide what to do with it, we can order the appropriate furniture."

 

"This is... These rooms are far more than I ever expected, Thorin," Bilbo said, looking up at him. "They are truly magnificent, but are you certain it's appropriate for me to have them?"

 

Thorin guided him to one of the sofas in front of the fire, sitting down and pulling Bilbo onto it, settling him practically on his lap. "No one will object to you having these rooms. For one thing, no one is using them. If anyone of the royal family had interest in creating gardens or cooking, they would have moved in by now. My sister loves to cook, but she has kitchens in her own chambers.

 

"For another, you yourself said you need the sunlight to thrive. This is the best room for that to happen. There are a few other rooms with balconies, but they are rather small, and are not in the royal wing," Thorin told him. "And I would not have you so far away from me at any rate.

 

"And considering I am the one who got you into this predicament, you deserve these rooms and more." Thorin sighed and leaned closer, nuzzling his face in Bilbo's curls. "I am also finding myself quite fond of you, Master Baggins. You are delightful, unlike anyone I have ever known. I find your candor refreshing. Very few ever speak to me the way you have in a few short days, and I know even fewer who would be willing to put royalty from two different kingdoms in their place with so few words. And with scandalous, highly inappropriate words, no less."

 

"The two of you were behaving rather ridiculously," Bilbo replied, turning his head and tilting it upwards so he could kiss Thorin. "I find myself rather fond of you as well. I would..." Bilbo huffed and screwed up his courage. "If you are amenable to it, I would like for our courtship to not simply be a way to keep you from horrible Dwarves you don't want to marry."

 

"You wish our courtship to be real?" Thorin asked.

 

Bilbo took a deep breath and nodded, moving so that he was straddling Thorin's lap. "I would like that, if you are also willing. But if you aren't, I won't stop the ruse. I think of you as a friend at the very least, and would not want to see you marry someone you cannot stand."

 

Thorin swooped in and took Bilbo's mouth in a slow, deep kiss, taking advantage when Bilbo moaned and opened his mouth, delving inside, tasting him and coaxing his tongue into moving against his.

 

Several minutes passed as they continued to kiss, hands sliding over each other's upper bodies, neither of them going lower for want of doing their courtship correctly, and at the moment they were already crossing the line of what was and was not acceptable.

 

Bilbo chuckled as they finally pulled away, each of them panting heavily. "I will take that as a 'yes'."

 

"That was most definitely a 'yes', my Hobbit," Thorin said, pressing their foreheads together.

 

Just as he leaned in for another kiss, a loud knock to the door echoed through the room. Sighing, Bilbo got up and opened the door to several Dwarves holding his packages from Dale. "Please, come in. I think we can just line up everything along the wall, until I find a place for everything," he said, getting out of their way.

 

It was a rather large and lengthy pile of goods once they were done, and as soon as the last Dwarf left, Frerin slipped inside, and he looked at Bilbo's purchases. "I did not think we bought that much."

 

"Didn't help that this one got purchase happy with the yard goods," Bilbo said, motioning to Thorin and glancing over at several tall piles of material bought by the bolt.

 

"Is Adad happy that I have returned?" Thorin asked, sitting back and watching as Frerin prowled around the room, studying it.

 

" _Ecstatic_. He's even happier you are continuing this 'little ruse' of yours, as he called it," Frerin said as he stepped up to the open doors to the balcony. "By Mahal, I did not realize the balcony here was this vast. Imagine the engineering it took to get this up and stable."

 

"Then Adad should do a little dance and throw us a feast when he discovers it is not a ruse at all," Thorin replied, tugging Bilbo close when he brought one of his new books over to the sofa and sat down next to him.

 

Frerin turned to look at them in surprise and then he grinned. "Truly? You are actually courting? I was under the impression that the Hobbit was the first person in the line of fire when you came up with this half-baked scheme of yours."

 

Bilbo tilted his head back and gave Thorin a look. "I was, and it was even less than half-baked, positively raw, I'd wager, but he's beautiful and charming, and I find myself quite fond of him in spite of everything, so I've decided to humor him."

 

"And I have found myself quite charmed by this lovely creature as well," Thorin said, nuzzling behind Bilbo's left ear, making him shiver. "Sensitive ears?"

 

"Yes, very much so. If you want to do this whole courting thing properly, don't touch them. Otherwise, I might not be responsible for my actions," he said, grinning when Thorin laughed.

 

"You two are _adorable_ together," Frerin said with a sigh as he flopped down on one of the wide leather chairs. "Truly, it is nauseating. I just may lose my lunch."

 

"You haven't had lunch yet," Thorin replied, shaking his head.

 

"We should rectify that soon," Bilbo said, rubbing his stomach.

 

"We can go down at any time," Frerin said, looking between the two with a fond gaze. "You do realize this will put more pressure on me to settle down with a nice Dwarrowdam? You know, since he will not be getting grandchildren from his firstborn."

 

Thorin and Bilbo exchanged a look, and once Bilbo nodded, Thorin said, "Bilbo is quite capable of bearing children, including Dwarf-children. The womenfolk of the Shire are not the only fertile and child-bearing ones."

 

Frerin brightened at that. "You speak the truth? You are not saying it simply to ease my terrified little heart?"

 

Rolling his eyes at his brother's dramatics, Thorin replied, "I am quite serious. Should Bilbo be willing, we will have a family together."

 

An elbow to the ribs had Thorin grunting and Bilbo said, "Of course I am willing. I want at least six children. Growing up without a sibling was rather lonely, even if I did have many cousins to play with. I always wanted a little brother or sister, and I would not have our children be lonely."

 

"That would tie the record for most children ever had by a Dwarf in Erebor," Frerin mused.

 

"Well, I'm certain if Thorin really puts his back into it, he can decimate the current record," Bilbo said, patting Thorin's leg and ignoring the strangled sound he made behind him.

 

"If you keep saying such things, I won't be held responsible for _my_ actions," Thorin teased after he got hold of himself.

 

"Well, then, I suppose we'll just have to do the year-long courtship. Just think, this time next year, you can proceed with attempting to round my belly with your child," he said, grinning when Thorin groaned and rested his head heavily against Bilbo's and Frerin proceeded to fall off the chair, he was laughing so hard and flailing about like an idiot.

 

"Oh, I like this one, brother," Frerin said as soon as he picked himself back up off the floor. "I think I want a Hobbit of my very own."

 

"Well, they certainly would like you," Bilbo said, chuckling. "Many lads and lasses would take one look at you and they'd be like young tweens with their first crushes."

 

"Well, I am quite a catch," Frerin said, preening slightly, and Thorin snorted.

 

"I need to find a way to retrieve my things from the Shire," Bilbo said, mostly to himself, ignoring the gestures the other two were making at one another, especially as they were likely not at all flattering to one another, and he caught one he _knew_ was downright vulgar. "Since I don't think it's truly feasible for me to make the long trip there and back here again during our courtship."

 

"No, but generally both sides of the family are present during the courtship. Perhaps there's someone who would be willing to come here for the duration of it, and bring your things as well?" Thorin asked.

 

Bilbo thought for a moment. "I could see if my cousin Paladin is willing. He married a lovely Dwarf named Bombur. Bombur's a Master Cook in Belegost, and very sweet. They have two children, Finn and Peregrin. If they will come, it's likely they won't travel alone, especially with the little ones. My guess is that Bombur's brother, Bofur, would come, as well as their cousin, Bifur. Perhaps I can get them to go through the Shire and gather my things."

 

Thorin nodded. "An excellent idea, and they would be most welcome here. Write your letters tonight, and I will speak to my father about sending it with a group of Dwarrows. If they decide to come, our people can be their escort and protect them."

 

"And I'll go with them," Frerin decided with a nod. "It will get me out of the line of fire, and I am rather curious about your homeland. I should like to see it, at the very least."

 

"And no doubt try to convince a few Hobbits to follow you back here as well," Bilbo said with amusement.

 

"I think we could do with a few of your sensible folk around here, and those who can grow food and care for animals would be welcome," Frerin said, shrugging. "We have plenty of land between here and Dale that they could pretty up, if they should like to do so."

 

"It is beautiful here," Bilbo admitted. The Mountain itself was surrounded by lush greenery. Tall, full trees of different varieties, thick grasses kept trimmed by herds of goats and sheep, wildflowers in bloom everywhere the eye could see. There were plenty of hills for homes, and from what he could tell, a lot of land that could be ideal for crops and large gardens. He did think any Hobbit could be happy there, if they chose to make the trip. And with his family, who knew? They tended to surprise even him, and overcrowding had started to become an issue again.

 

"I think other Hobbits would enjoy the land surrounding the Mountain," he agreed. "If your father agrees, and they want to come. From what I understand, Hobbits have become a bit more adventurous than they had been before the Dwarves of Belegost became friendly with us, so you might have some luck."

 

A knock on the door sounded and Frerin got up to answer. "Dwalin! To what do we owe the pleasure of your company so soon after we left you?"

 

Dwalin snorted and pushed his way inside, sinking into a chair next to the sofa Thorin and Bilbo were occupying. "King Thrain wants you three to join him for lunch in the Royal Dining Hall. Be there in thirty minutes." Then he huffed. "He's in such a jolly mood. I don't know that continuing to fake a relationship is going to do anything to brighten it in the coming months."

 

"It's a good thing then that we're not faking anything," Thorin said as he played with the bead in Bilbo's hair. "Our courtship is quite genuine, I assure you."

 

"Good," Dwalin said with a nod. "I think this Hobbit is very good for you, and I think Thrain will end up liking him far better than any of the Dwarrows he'd picked out for you. At least this one didn't send you running and screaming into the night."

 

Bilbo winced. "She's really _that_ bad?"

 

Dwalin cringed. "You have no idea. I _fear_ her, and not in the good way I fear Dís."

 

"I'm entirely certain you'll find out for yourself," Frerin said, retaking his chair. "She's still here, and is not scheduled to leave for another two weeks."

 

Dwalin chuckled. "That should be an interesting meeting. 'Meet Bilbo Baggins. One look at you, and it was into his arms that Thorin ran when the match between you and he was proposed.' Should go over well."

 

Bilbo rolled his eyes and slid off the sofa, ignoring Thorin's protests, and went over to grab the bag with his clothes in it, and another with his bathing products. "Allow me to wash up a bit and change, and I'll be ready for lunch."

 

The others waved him off and began talking amongst themselves, and Bilbo wandered down to the bathroom, grinning the entire way. As soon as the bathroom door was closed, he began snickering and then outright laughing, though he tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting the others to think he'd gone mad.

 

It was... His life at that moment just seemed so ridiculous. A few months ago, he was in the Shire, dodging meddlesome relatives who thought they knew what he needed best (being a partner to live life with), and now, here he was, being courted officially by the Crown Prince of Erebor. He was to be the Consort of the future king of the single most important, powerful, and richest Dwarf-kingdom left in Middle-Earth.

 

It took a few minutes, but he finally got himself under control, except for the occasional giggle, and he took his bag with his soaps in it and moved to the sinks, where he filled one a quarter of the way with hot water, before adding enough cold so that it wouldn't burn. Then he stripped off his shirt, found his soap, and proceeded to scrub his face, neck, arms and hands, to get rid of the dust from their short trip from Dale.

 

Once he'd dried off with the thick, soft towel he found in the linen closet, he went into his pack and found a shirt that wasn't too wrinkled and slipped it on, along with a clean vest. After he checked himself in the mirror and took a comb to his messy curls, mindful of the small braid in his hair, he went back into the main room to find that Dwalin had left.

 

"Ready to face the lion's den?" Frerin asked with a far-too-amused grin.

 

"Yes, but before you decide to be too cute about anything, just remember that I can remind your father that while Thorin is now taken, he still has another son that could be an ideal match for dearest Dorwina," Bilbo said, giving Frerin, who had a look of abject horror on his face, as if it had never occurred to him that a match between him and Dorwina could be brought up, his brightest smile.

 

Then he turned to Thorin, who was howling with laughter, and nudged him with his foot. "Go and untangle your hair a bit. There's a comb in the bathroom. And bring the comb with you when you're done!"

 

"You are an evil, evil Hobbit, Master Baggins," Frerin said, slumping into his chair and pouting slightly, though he looked a bit troubled. "You think my father might want to attempt marrying me off to her?"

 

Bilbo shrugged as he searched his third bag for the small parcel he'd placed in there the day before, once Legolas brought it. "I will, however, agree wholeheartedly with your desire to go to Belegost, and mention it might be wise to reconnect in person with that city, if you help me with braiding the courting braid I need to put into Thorin's hair."

 

He opened the bag he held and allowed the eight beads inside to tumble into his hand.

 

Frerin got up and stepped over to look at the beads. "These are beautiful. Where did you get them?"

 

"Thranduil's people sometimes come to the marketplace and sell their work, so he told me. They had a few stalls there, and I saw these yesterday morning, while we were out. I asked Legolas to go and purchase them for me, so Thorin would not see them. I cannot make them, but I would not have just any old beads to put in his hair. Which do you think would do well for his first?"

 

Thorin had told him that during the courtship, beads would be added to the courting braid, as they progressed. It would be between four and eight, depending on how long they decided to court.

 

"I think this one," Frerin said, picking up the one with the leaf pattern and the emerald chips. "It will definitely make a statement to everyone that you are quite serious in your desire to be courted by my brother."

 

Bilbo nodded and slipped the rest back into the bag and placed it back in its hiding place. He had just sat back down when Thorin came back into the room, comb in hand, his expression curious.

 

Bilbo patted the sofa as he hopped up. "Frerin has agreed to help me with the courting braid," he said, placing the bead into Thorin's hand as Frerin came over and tilted Thorin's head.

 

"I think it should go here," Frerin said, pulling a section of hair on the left side of Thorin's face into his hands.

 

Bilbo grabbed the comb from Thorin's hand and began combing the section. "Do you like the bead?"

 

"It's beautiful," Thorin said, holding the bead up to eye level and admiring the craftsmanship. "Some of the Elves of Greenwood do excellent work, when they put their minds to working with metal."

 

"I thought so, and I thought the silver and emeralds would look lovely in your hair, because it's so dark," Bilbo said as he put the comb aside and he helped Frerin divide the clump of hair into five smaller sections. "It'll stand out beautifully."

 

Bilbo concentrated on the motions Frerin made as he began the start of the braid, and after a few passes, he moved so that Bilbo could take over. Frerin stood behind him, arms coming around Bilbo so he could guide his fingers in the proper motion, letting him do most of the work, though he was there to help when Bilbo faltered.

 

After a few minutes, Frerin plucked the bead from his brother's hand and showed Bilbo how to thread it into the braid at the appropriate spot, and then he moved back and let Bilbo finish it off, handing him a tie when he was done.

 

"There!" Bilbo said, rather proud of his effort. "Thank you for helping, Frerin."

 

"Anything for my future brother," Frerin said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Now we better get moving, or Adad will be even crankier."

 

Thorin stood and pulled Bilbo close, leaning down to kiss him, lingering until Frerin cleared his throat and started muttering about impressionable youths. "Thank you," he murmured, ignoring his brother.

 

Bilbo smiled up at him. "My pleasure."

 

Frerin sighed and opened the door. "You two are going to need a chaperone. I am _not_ volunteering."

 

"If you go to Belegost, you won't have to," Bilbo reminded him, following him out the door.

 

"This is true," Frerin said, perking up as he led the way down the hallway.

 

Bilbo just shook his head and took the hand that Thorin offered.

 

Apparently the Royal Dining Hall was down the hallway, just past the hall they'd come through on the way up, on the side where Thorin said his parents were housed. Bilbo had hoped for a little more time to get his slightly flustered nerves under control, but all too soon they were walking through the double doors to find King Thrain already sitting at the table, looking over several parchments.

 

"Are we late?" Thorin asked as he guided Bilbo over to the left side of the table, pulling out the second chair from the end for him.

 

Thrain shook his head and passed the parchment papers to the servant standing there. "Nay, I was simply going over a few requests from the Rhûn Dwarrows. Apparently they had heard of your need for a mate and are offering up two of their finest princesses for you to choose from."

 

"As I have found the one I will bond with for life, you can tell them thank you but no thank you," Thorin said, taking Bilbo's hand and smiling at him.

 

Thrain waved off the servants and waited for them to leave before he focused on the two of them. "So you two truly are planning on going through with this farce? You don't truly believe that I believe you found your One by stumbling across him in the market at just the perfect opportunity to keep you from marrying Dorwina, do you?"

 

"Think what you like, Adad, but we are entirely serious about our courtship," Thorin replied as he let go of Bilbo's hand and began serving himself, Bilbo doing the same. "We plan on doing a proper courtship, having our wedding ceremony, and then we will begin thinking of starting our family. I will not be marrying Dorwina or any other Dwarf, so you can send her on her way."

 

"And how, pray tell, do you plan on having this family? Unless Hobbits do things very differently, that is a male sitting next to you," Thrain said, motioning toward Bilbo with his fork before he reached out and stabbed a slice of ham and plunked it onto his plate.

 

Bilbo passed the potatoes over to Frerin and then looked at the king, deciding to get it all out in the open at once and as bluntly as possible. "Your Majesty, both Hobbit males and females are capable of pregnancy. And we are compatible with Dwarves, as we have been marrying and having children with the Dwarves of Ered Luin for many, many years now. Thorin and I have already discussed children, and have decided that we will have at least six of them."

 

With that, he nodded when Thorin offered ham – he couldn't reach it from his seat – and then began spooning some delicious smelling sautéed mushrooms on his plate, before doing the same for Thorin. Bilbo looked up to offer the bowl to the king, and he saw the Dwarf gaping at him.

 

Bilbo glanced at Thorin. "Oh, dear. I think I broke him."

 

Thorin chuckled and took the bowl, spooning mushrooms onto his father's plate before passing them over to Frerin. "He'll be fine. Give him a moment to come to terms with what he just heard. That was a lot to take in all at once."

 

Nodding, Bilbo buttered up a dinner roll and then dug into his food when Thorin and Frerin did the same. It was still another minute or so before Thrain cleared his throat and spoke.

 

"This is true, son?" Thrain asked, glancing between the two, a light in his eyes that had been missing since the whole mess started.

 

Thorin nodded and swallowed. "Yes. He has many relatives of his who live in Belegost now with their Dwarf-spouses. In fact, I told Bilbo that with your permission, Frerin and an escort could head to Ered Luin as soon as possible with a missive to one of his relatives, so they can come here and oversee our courtship, as well as stop by the Shire and gather his belongings that he wishes to keep."

 

Thrain nodded. "We can certainly do that." His attention turned to Bilbo. "You are aware that one of these days, Thorin will be king, and that would make you the King's Consort."

 

Bilbo nodded. "Yes, I am aware of that, Your Majesty."

 

Thrain waved him off. "Call me Thrain, as we are apparently to be family soon enough. Now, you do know that is not simply a title, but that much goes along with it. It requires a great deal of diplomacy and a delicate touch, and can often be a daunting position."

 

Bilbo nodded. "Yes, I thought as much, but I am willing to do what it takes to educate myself to be what Thorin would need me to be as his Consort and as a member of the Royal Family."

 

Thrain nodded. "I will assign Balin to the task. He will teach you our culture and our language, as well as the politics of Erebor and how to deal with our allies and our enemies. He will also act as your chaperone until Dís and Marís get back. Then they can take over the task as duty allows."

 

"That will be acceptable," Thorin said, smiling at Bilbo.

 

"So tell me, Bilbo, do you speak other languages aside from the Common Tongue?" Thrain asked as he cut into his ham.

 

"Yes, all Hobbits speak both the Common Tongue and a much older form of Westron. I myself also speak Sindarin, and a bit of Quenya. I know the signs used by the Rangers of the North, as well as the inglishmek used in Ered Luin. I also know a rather extensive number of words in Khuzdul, though I don't know how the language itself is constructed and cannot actually speak it."

 

Thrain looked surprised. "How did you come to learn these words?"

 

"My cousin, Paladin, married a Dwarf named Bombur. They are the ones I wish to write to. They often come to Hobbiton, partly for trading purposes, but also to simply visit with family, and he, his brother Bofur, and their cousin Bifur stay with me in my home there.

 

"Some years back, Bifur was injured in an attack from Orcs, and he still has an ax head buried inside his head." Bilbo raised his hand and indicated where it was. "It didn't kill him, obviously, but it damaged the language part of his brain. We're not certain why, but while he can speak Khuzdul and use inglishmek without a problem, his knowledge of how to speak the Common Tongue was lost. He can understand it, but he cannot speak it.

 

"I learned inglishmek so that I could speak with him, knowing that because I wasn't immediate family who lived within the Dwarf-realm, they would not be comfortable teaching Khuzdul to me, but over the years, just from being around him while he speaks and signs, I've picked up many words, and I can sometimes get the gist of what he's saying or wanting without having to have him in my line of sight."

 

"He's one of the ones you think will come, correct?" Thorin asked. "He has no other problems?"

 

"He has bad days occasionally, usually after something jostles or knocks into the ax. It gives him very bad headaches when that happens, and sometimes he'll get the headaches anyway, even if the ax is not bothered. He needs quiet, darkness, and this pain reducing mixture of herbs that the healers of Ered Luin and the Shire created for him. Once he's taken them, it's simply a matter of waiting it out. It could take a few hours or as much as a day, but then he'll be better, until the next time."

 

Bilbo chuckled. "It happens more often than it probably should, but he's very boisterous and energetic, and he loves playing with the children, who sometimes forget about the injury and accidentally knock it about. He simply does what he needs to for the pain to go away, and then he goes right back to it. The children have always adored him."

 

"What is this Bifur's craft?" Thrain asked.

 

"He used to be a miner, before he was injured, but after he had mostly healed, the constant pounding of hammers and chisels were harsh on his head. One of his other passions was toy-making, so he began doing that full time. It's easier now on him to be around the mines, but he still prefers to design and create the toys. And they've sold very well in the Shire and the towns of Men," Bilbo replied, and then he took another bite of the mushrooms. They were just as delicious as they smelled, and he thought he might find out who the chef was and prod him for a list of the spices he'd added.

 

"We have an excellent Guild here for toymakers," Thrain said, nodding to himself. "He would be most welcome to join, should he wish to come." Then he changed the subject. "Were you planning on a one or two year courtship?"

 

"We had discussed the one year," Thorin said, his eyebrows lifting when Thrain frowned. "You disagree?"

 

"Considering the time it will take for the trip to Ered Luin, then to Bilbo's home, and back again, it would not be worth it for them to come for what would amount to a mere few months," Thrain reasoned. "But if you went the two years, it would give them time to arrive with most of your courtship left, and would also give our subjects here in Erebor time to get used to the idea of a Hobbit Consort, as well as give Bilbo more time to dedicate to his studies, as he's not expected to take on any duties while he is being courted by you."

 

Thorin nodded and looked at Bilbo. "What do you think?"

 

"It does make sense. I would not want them to come all this way for nothing, and I would like as much time as possible to grow comfortable with your culture and language, and with what my duties will entail, before I get thrown into them," Bilbo replied, smiling at him. "An extra year won't be that much longer considering our life spans, and you're only forty years older than I am. I think we can manage just fine."

 

"Then that is what we will do," Thorin said, turning back to his father. "I gave Bilbo the chambers next to Frerin, the one with the balcony. Sunlight is essential to Hobbits, and he would like to create a garden and make use of the kitchen. When we wed, I will be moving into those chambers."

 

Thrain nodded, pleased. "It has been many a year since those chambers were used. I am glad someone will finally be able to appreciate them." He looked at Bilbo. "Whatever you need for it, we will get for you."

 

Sighing, Thrain poked at one of his potatoes. "It does present a problem with Dorwina however, because she's adamant about her wishes to marry you, though she may be content with someone in the Durin line." He glanced slyly over at Frerin, who had been mostly quiet during the entire lunch.

 

"Oh, no, do not look at me," Frerin said, frowning. "I am going to Ered Luin, and as Thorin has told me repeatedly, I am going to find my own Hobbit, thank you very much. One who will give you lots and lots of grandchildren!"

 

"Adad, you already sent one of us screaming from the Mountain because of that woman. Don't make Frerin do it too," Thorin pleaded, smiling a little when Thrain chuckled.

 

"Really?" Bilbo asked again, looking between the three. "She is truly that terrible?"

 

"Apparently so," Thrain said, shaking his head. "I did not think so until I returned to the Mountain and informed her that Thorin had claimed to have found his One in Dale. She threw a tantrum the likes of which I have not seen since Dís was ten and was told she could not go on the hunting trip with Thorin and Frerin."

 

Frerin howled with laughter at the reminder. "Oh, Mahal, yes, that was a horrific display." He turned his attention to Bilbo and explained. "Dís is the youngest of us, seventeen years younger than Thorin, and thirteen years younger than myself. We were all set to go on my first hunting trip when I was thirty, and she was at that age where she thought she could do anything we could do, and her not being able to do it because of her age was nonsense."

 

"All Dwarrows are like that at that age, so it came as no surprise," Thorin added.

 

"What did come as a surprise was the reaction," Frerin said, laughing. "It was like a badger with its foot caught in a trap."

 

"I'd never heard language like that even while marching with our soldiers," Thrain said, shaking his head.

 

"And everybody within half a mile heard her loud and clear," Thorin added. "It was mortifying."

 

"I don't know. I was rather proud," Frerin said, coming very close to bouncing in his seat as he grinned at no one in particular.

 

"Unfortunately for Dís, my mother heard her," Thorin said, and he chuckled. "She was about the only one who could strike fear into Dís at that age."

 

"That's because she was one of the rare females born into the line of Durin, and we doted upon her," Frerin said, reaching for another dinner roll.

 

"Spoiled her rotten, you mean," Thrain said, rolling his eyes. "I was as guilty as you two and your grandfather, and we rarely if ever attempted to check her behavior. It was Marís who disciplined her, and so she rarely listened to any but her."

 

"She grew out of it eventually, but that day was definitely one for remembrance." Thorin smirked. "Of course, now she's mortified by it."

 

"And will likely kill us in our sleep for telling Bilbo about it," Frerin said, reaching for his ale. "Good thing I plan on being halfway across the Misty Mountains by the time she returns."

 

"That simply means we will have to wait until you get back to tell her that you helped tell me about it. I'm certain she will be most pleased that you likened her to a badger in a trap," Bilbo replied, grinning when Frerin sent a wounded look his direction.

 

"Thorin, are you certain you do not want to trade this one in for a different Hobbit? This one's got a rather mean streak in him," Frerin said as he eyed Bilbo warily.

 

Thorin laughed and took Bilbo's hand in his. "No, I am rather pleased with the one I have. Anyone who can hold his own with the likes of you and Dwalin is more than good enough for me."

 

Thrain shook his head. "At any rate, since Thorin's trip to Dale where you two met, Dorwina has been extraordinarily difficult, and her father is being just as difficult as she is." He snorted. "It's my own fault, I suppose, for assuring the match before I took into consideration the personality of my eldest.

 

"At any rate, your choice in a life partner, Thorin, has my approval, and I will deal with the unpleasantness that comes along with my error in judgment. And you have today and the next two days free so that you may get your intended settled into the Mountain and begin showing him around. After that, I expect you to return to your normal duties, though I will make allowances in time for your courtship."

 

"Thank you, Adad," Thorin said, bowing his head slightly.

 

"Yes, thank you, Thrain," Bilbo said, also bowing his head. "I look forward to having a look around the Mountain. What little I've seen already was magnificent."

 

Nodding and puffing up a bit with pride for his kingdom, Thrain said, "Well, now that we've got the most important things settled, let's get back to our lunch. I really do not have all day to dawdle. I heard King Thranduil has decided to pay me a visit this afternoon before heading back to Greenwood."

 

"Perhaps you should take Bilbo with you," Frerin said, sending a bright smile Bilbo's way. "Thranduil _adores_ Bilbo, as does his son, Legolas."

 

Bilbo rolled his eyes at Frerin's leer and Thorin's growl, and he looked at the curious King. "I was escorted over the Mountains by Elrond's people, who were coming to meet with Thranduil. I stayed a few days in his realm, and became friendly with him and his children. Thranduil was very cordial to me, both there and when we met again at the marketplace a few days ago. He and Thorin were not always on their best behavior that first day, but they behaved themselves afterwards."

 

"Yes, after you told them both off for acting like idiots," Frerin said, chuckling.

 

"You must tell me more about this later, perhaps at dinner, if I can manage to get away. You three are excused from any formal meals that might develop for tonight, as you, Frerin, will be gathering your gear for the trip and picking your escorts, and you, Thorin, will be helping your intended to put away his things and possibly helping him purchase items at our markets...with Balin's supervision, of course."

 

"Of course, Adad," Thorin said, looking relieved at not being required at a formal dinner Bilbo suspected would happen if Thranduil had his way.

 

Bilbo was just looking forward to getting settled into his own rooms.

 

~*~

 

Bilbo had settled onto one of the sofas with his writing desk and his new writing implements later that afternoon. Thorin had gone to help Frerin with his packing, leaving Bilbo to work on his letters and lists without distractions.

 

He'd written his missive to Bombur and Paladin, and then he'd begun the list of everything he wanted from Bag End and from the Shire, when the bell that hung to the left of the door began to ring.

 

Putting his writing desk aside, he slid off the sofa and went to open the door, smiling when he saw a Dwarf he did not know on the other side. He was much shorter than Thorin, and he had long, dark hair that was pulled back from his face with a clasp and braids, and a rather long, dark beard that split at the end and curled upward. He had a batch of parchment pages in his hands.

 

The Dwarf smiled and bowed to him. "Balin, at your service."

 

Realizing this was the one Thrain promised to send to him, Bilbo bowed and stepped aside to let him in. "Bilbo Baggins, at yours," he replied. "Please come in. Thrain said he would send you."

 

"So you are the Hobbit that had my brother's tongue wagging earlier today," he said, coming inside and looking around the room.

 

"Oh, yes! You're Dwalin's brother," Bilbo said, remembering that Dwalin had mentioned him a few times.

 

"Aye, laddie, I am. My brother is quite amused by you and he also approves of you, and that takes some doing."

 

"Glad to hear it. Please, sit down. I'd offer some tea, but my kitchen is bare at the moment," Bilbo said as he sat back on the sofa.

 

Balin sat down on the other sofa and waved him off. "Quite all right, laddie. King Thrain said we'd have to do a bit of work to get you all set up in here. Thorin isn't here?"

 

"No, he went to go and bother his brother for a bit. I think he's going to miss him, since Frerin will be gone for months, so he used my writing letters to my family as an excuse to go and spend some time with him," Bilbo said.

 

"Sounds about right. The two haven't been split up for that long... well, ever." Balin looked at his writing desk. "I'm not keepin' you from anything important, am I?"

 

Bilbo shook his head. "It's fine. Just a list of things they're to bring back to me, but I have time, as they won't leave until tomorrow sometime, so I have the entire evening."

 

Balin nodded. "Good. I thought we might get acquainted and begin to work on hammering out the details of your lessons."

 

"That would be good. I also would like to go over Dwarvish courtships in detail. I got an overall idea of what's to come from Thorin, but I'd like to know more about the gifts exchanged, when during the courtship it occurs, and what conduct is and is not acceptable. Things like that...preferably with lots of notes."

 

Chuckling, Balin nodded. "Aye, we can do that as well. How long will your courtship be?"

 

"Two years. We had considered one, but Thrain said that two years would give my family time to travel here and participate, and also give me time for my lessons and for your people to get used to the idea of me as a Consort."

 

"That it will. It will also get them used to the idea that Thorin will not have a direct heir. Many will be disappointed, but they will get over it soon enough," Balin said.

 

"I think we are going to have to put up notifications somewhere," Bilbo mused, chuckling. "I am capable of bearing children, including Dwarf-children. The family I am asking to join me is a Dwarf-Hobbit family from Ered Luin, both parents being males."

 

Balin looked at him, surprise written all over his face. "Well, you are a wonder, like my brother said. Though he did not tell me that little fact. Was he aware?"

 

Bilbo nodded. "I told them all the first night we had dinner together. Thrain and Frerin also know."

 

"Well, then, they will have to get used to the idea of a Dwarf-Hobbit child instead," Balin said.

 

"They'll have the opportunity, if Paladin and Bombur come here. They have two children already, and Thorin and I plan on having several children." Bilbo grinned. "And if Frerin has his way, he may be coming back with a Hobbit of his own."

 

"I did not know Hobbits were considered property," Balin said, chuckling.

 

"Oh, believe me, we're not, but every time Frerin gets particularly flirty, Thorin tells him to find his own Hobbit. It's really quite amusing." Bilbo rolled his eyes. "He doesn't like it much when he thinks other people are flirting with me. You should have seen him and Thranduil. Obnoxious behavior on both their parts."

 

"Ah, yes, Dwalin did tell me about that, and he told me what you said." Balin shook his head and grinned. "I think you will be very good for Thorin. He's a bit spoiled and not used to someone talking back to him that isn't Dwalin or myself, when we're in a personal setting. He needs someone like you."

 

"Which is why I want to do my best to learn everything I need to," Bilbo said. "Where do you think we should start?"

 

Balin looked around. "Is there someplace we can go to spread out, perhaps do a bit of writing?"

 

Bilbo nodded as he gathered his writing box and papers, and then he motioned for Balin to follow. He led the Dwarf down the right hall and into the dimly lit dining room. He slid the box onto the dining table, and then he went back to the door and fiddled with the strings, pulling until the draperies lifted from the chandelier and the room was lit up. "Thorin showed me how to open and close these things. Takes some getting used to."

 

"Aye, it does, but it keeps you from having all the lights shining when you're trying to sleep, so they're useful. Wait until they get caught upon the chandeliers a few times, and you'll share in the frustration some of us have with them. We'll also purchase you some lanterns and oils so that you can use them instead whenever you wish. Sometimes it's easier for just a bit of light."

 

Bilbo laughed and they sat down next to one another, and he watched as Balin sifted through the parchment papers he'd brought. "I think at the top of the list should be the courtship."

 

"Aye, I agree with that. I also think we should start with Dwarvish culture and customs, of which that would be a part, and Khuzdul. King Thrain said you spoke Sindarin, and that you knew inglishmek and some Khuzdul words."

 

Bilbo nodded and explained about Bifur.

 

"A sad tale to be certain, but that he lived is rather miraculous. But Mahal and the rest of the Valar have wisdom where we do not, and so I guess he has much to offer still though life may be difficult for him at times," Balin said. "You will also be studying history, as our histories span through three Ages, and it goes hand in hand with our culture and customs."

 

"That makes sense," Bilbo said, taking the set of parchments from Balin and looking them over. They were lists of books and outlines of what he suspected were major topics for their upcoming studies. "I take it you have a library of some sort where I can find these books?"

 

Balin chuckled. "You could say that, laddie. We have the biggest library in Middle-Earth, and it holds books in a wide variety of languages. Many of our own books have been translated into the Common Tongue. All the ones on your list certainly have been.

 

"Tomorrow we will visit the library and get the first of the books you will need, and we will also go down to the markets. I'm sure you would like to begin getting that kitchen of yours stocked, and you will need many empty journals for the notes you will need to take and study." Balin pushed aside the other papers he brought with him, and he pulled some empty parchment paper out of Bilbo's writing box, as well as a quill and ink.

 

"Oh, and my brother will be speaking to you about your lessons in swordsmanship and other weaponry. It is required that all know how to defend themselves, as on occasion, others have been foolish enough to try and invade our Mountain."

 

"Well, that's rather stupid of them," Bilbo said, frowning. "I mean, it's a Mountain. They're out there in wide open spaces. Archers could have a time of it picking them off one by one."

 

"Aye, that's true, but we do not have many archers, as our eyesight is not like that of some of the other races. Now, let's go over Dwarvish Courtship, shall we?"

 

Nodding, Bilbo put aside the pages Balin had given him and picked up his quill, ready to jot down everything he needed to remember.

 

"Now, two years is obviously a bit different than the one year, so we won't worry about you learning the one year rules just yet. You'll eventually need to know them, in case you need to preside over a courtship. For the two years, it is divided up into six sections of four months each, and each section has its own set of specific rules. Generally, the longer it goes, the more lax the rules are, and the more that is allowed.

 

"However, at no point is penetration by either party allowed until after the wedding has taken place," Balin said. "That is the most important thing to remember. To put it bluntly, lad, that means no cock entering any opening in the body and that includes your mouth. No fingers, either, and mind that your tongue only stray to Thorin's mouth and his does the same. No going below the waist, lad."

 

Bilbo's face was flaming, but he nodded quickly as he wrote. "Got it! No penetration into the body at all except for tongues in mouths for the duration of the courtship."

 

Balin chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, lad, that's probably the most embarrassing part of the whole thing to discuss."

 

"Thank the Valar for that," Bilbo said, chuckling as he fanned his face a bit.

 

"Now, let's talk about the first section, months one through four. The first step is for one of the two involved to ask permission of the other to court him."

 

Bilbo laughed as he wrote that down. "Well, that didn't exactly happen just like that, but I suppose it did in our own unique way."

 

"Yes, I heard about the sudden snatching of a Hobbit away from his shopping and a certain Dwarf declaring to all nearby that you were his One. I would have loved to see that," Balin replied. "The second step is to place the courting braid and the first courtship bead into the hair of one's intended."

 

Bilbo wrote it down quickly and nodded. "We did that as well. He placed mine in my hair while we were in Dale, and Frerin helped me with making the proper braid just before lunch."

 

"Excellent!" Balin said. "The third step is for the one who asked to declare his intentions to both families, and for you to declare your agreement to the courtship."

 

"Well, he did declare his intentions to Thrain, and I agreed to it, so we're set there. My parents died a few years back, and I have no family here, until Frerin returns with them."

 

"Then we can consider that part complete as well. It happens sometimes that a Dwarf has no immediate family or family readily available when the courting begins. Now, once those steps are completed, is when the courtship really begins. So anything you might have done prior to these doesn't really count," Balin said, smiling at him.

 

"Now, the first thing is that when you two are alone, there must always be a chaperone. This includes in your private rooms, and milling about the Mountain or outside of it. The chaperone need not crowd you when you are in private, and they may do as they like when you are with a group of Dwarrows, such as a family gathering or while at the marketplace. But being caught alone will cause many an eyebrow to rise. If for some reason your chaperone disappears on you while you're in public and you need to depart, either you go your separate ways, or you ask another Dwarf to chaperone you until one of your chaperones can be found."

 

Bilbo nodded, his quill flying over the paper. "That makes sense. Must a chaperone be present through the entire courtship?"

 

"Yes," Balin replied, and he sighed. "At first, there were no chaperones required after the first section of courtship, but there were times when less honorable Dwarrows would force themselves on their intendeds or manipulate them into acting as they otherwise would not have done. This was in the beginning when our courtship customs were still developing, and so it was deemed necessary, for the protection of the intendeds, and for the integrity of the process."

 

"Oh, that's awful," Bilbo said, frowning. "I cannot think of the last time anything like that happened in the Shire."

 

"Aye, it's been many a year since that happened here. We are sticklers for the rules concerning this, and even when the rules of affections between the two intendeds broaden and more affections can be bestowed upon one another, the chaperone must always be present somewhere close by, so that they can aid one if something happens they do not want or is not appropriate. Of course, we are also there to ensure that the two intendeds do not get carried away accidentally."

 

Balin smiled at him then. "Be comforted. Thorin is a good and kind lad, and he would do nothing to harm you."

 

Bilbo nodded and returned the smile. "I know. I'm not worried about any of that, but it's good to know in case, like you said, I ever have to oversee a courting."

 

"Let's talk about affections. During this first four months, outside of private chambers, you are limited to holding hands. Any other show of affection is highly inappropriate. Exceptions are of course made when one or both intendeds have been off to battle or injured in an accident, as we are not cold and understand the need to reassure oneself that the other is well. But outside of such circumstances, nothing other than hand holding.

 

"In private settings, such as your or Thorin's rooms, or with your family in private chambers, you are allowed also to exchange small chaste kisses and to hug or cuddle with your intended. No straying hands below the waist or underneath the clothes."

 

Bilbo snickered. "I think I would be mortified if he tried that in front of everyone. Especially Frerin. We'd never hear the end of it."

 

Laughing, Balin shook his head. "That boy will definitely need a chaperone if he ever finds anyone he's serious about. He has quite the reputation, but he, too, is a good lad. His frustration at the least will be very entertaining.

 

"Now, the purpose of the first four months is for you and Thorin to get to know one another, which is why affections are so limited. If you were allowed to do otherwise, you would never come up for air and never learn about one another."

 

"Yes, I can see why that would be a problem," Bilbo said. "So, you mean like learning about each other, what we like and don't like, our personal histories, each other's families, things like that?"

 

"Aye, exactly," Balin replied, sitting back. "It is important for the two of you to know each other well, so that your marriage will be built on solid rock. A courtship may be broken at any time, if one wishes it, but once marriage occurs, there is no going back, and one does not want to find themselves married to someone they find they cannot stand after a few years."

 

Bilbo winced. "That would be terrible."

 

"Indeed. Take this time to get to know Thorin. Through this stage, as well as the others, you are allowed to give each other small trinkets, things you think the other will like. They do not have to be expensive or even bought. They do not have to be permanent. In his case, since you like greenery, or so I've been told, Thorin may bring you flowers from time to time, or bring you a plant for your garden. You may cook him his favorite dessert. Things such as this are acceptable.

 

"At the end of each stage of courtship, the ending of it is punctuated by a larger gift that has a specific purpose. For this stage, it is the Gift of Acknowledgment. This gift is usually purchased, and shows your intended that you have come to know him. You acknowledge who Thorin is with this gift, by giving him something useful or even something frivolous that you know he would love."

 

Bilbo nodded. "All right," he said as he finished taking notes. "That doesn't sound too difficult."

 

"Much more difficult in practice than in speaking of it," Balin replied. "Especially when the two are attracted to one another. Two years is much easier for those who have an arranged marriage, as Thorin would have had with Dorwina."

 

Bilbo frowned. "I thought one had to consent to a courtship."

 

"Ah, there is a third type of courtship that is a year long that is designed for arranged marriages that are for the good of the kingdom. Namely, marrying off royalty who refuses to marry otherwise. It's rarely used nowadays, and well, it has the effect that it had on Thorin, usually."

 

"With the prince fleeing from his own home to get away from a horrible person?"

 

"Exactly that, yes." The two shared a laugh, and then Balin began explaining the rest of the courtship and its rituals, while Bilbo dutifully took notes.

 

~*~

 

Bilbo and Balin were busy sorting through all the purchases when Thorin returned, knocking briefly and peering in when Bilbo called out. "Balin here?"

 

"Aye, I'm here, laddie. Come in," Balin called out from the empty room, where they were storing all the cloth. He had just taken the last of it into the room. "Think you bought enough cloth there?"

 

Thorin shrugged as he stepped inside. "I wanted to be certain he had enough to make an entire wardrobe suitable for the Mountain."

 

Bilbo and Balin exchanged amused glances and then Bilbo walked over to Thorin and rose up onto his toes to press a kiss to Thorin's mouth, because he could. "Here, take these and put them on the bookshelf in the bedroom."

 

With a smile on his face, Thorin did as he was bid, and Bilbo dove back into the pile of purchases. "Ah hah! Here are my sugar and my new pans," he said, setting aside another pile of books and dragging out a box.

 

"You know, we do have pans here in Erebor," Balin said, amused as he helped Bilbo with the box, carrying it into the kitchen for him, while Bilbo hefted another large bag of sugar.

 

"Yes, so I was informed by Thorin, Frerin, and your brother," Bilbo said, sliding the bag onto the counter. Then he pulled out a pan and showed it to him. "But these are large and shallow, and will be easier to candy the fruits for storage for the winter."

 

"Is that why you bought all the lemons, oranges, and cherries?" he asked, motioning to the bushels they'd carted into the kitchen a half hour earlier.

 

Bilbo nodded. "And some of the carrots as well. Candied carrots go well on carrot cake."

 

"I can't say that I've ever had carrot cake," Balin mused as he helped Bilbo unpack his few pans and put them in the cupboard Bilbo indicated.

 

"Then I will have to make you some, once I get my kitchen in order," Bilbo said, smiling brightly at him.

 

"I look forward to it."

 

"Forward to what?"

 

They turned to find Thorin stepping into the kitchen, and Bilbo turned back to decide where he wanted to place his bags of sugar. "Carrot cake. He's never had it, so I said I would make some when I got my kitchen in order."

 

"Cannot say I've ever had it either. Sounds appalling," Thorin said, smiling in amusement when Bilbo gave him an affronted glare.

 

"Just means there will be more for the rest of us," Bilbo said, moving his sugar to the pantry, to rest on the floor toward the front. "There are two more bags of sugar in the living room. Can you bring them?"

 

"Of course," Thorin said, reaching out and plucking a cherry out of the basket, dodging Bilbo's swat and heading back out.

 

"I'm going to have to watch him. I'll not have any cherries left before I can get to them. Between him and Frerin, they ate half a bloody basket. Good thing it was their own that they purchased, or I would have been most cross."

 

"The entire family is the same, so you may want to hide them as well as you can," Balin said with a grin. "Otherwise you won't have any left inside of a week."

 

~*~

 

The next morning Balin arrived bright and early, half-dragging Bilbo out of bed in spite of his complaints. Grumbling to himself, Bilbo stumbled into the bathing room and went through his morning ablutions. After dressing, Bilbo wandered into the main room and found Thorin there with Balin, half-asleep on one of the enormous chairs near the fire.

 

"Morning," Bilbo murmured as he hopped up next to him. He curled up under Thorin's arm when he raised it and pressed a soft, quick kiss to his cheek before resting his head on his chest. "Why are we up so early?"

 

"Busy day," Balin said brightly, laughing at the glare both sent his way. "King Thrain has requested your presence for breakfast, and then we are headed to the marketplace, and then we will be giving you your first tour of Erebor. It will take awhile to show you everything, but in the next couple of days, we'll be covering the areas you're most likely to be dealing with, starting with the marketplace and the library."

 

"Good, then we can get some of the books I'll need," Bilbo replied, making no move to get up.

 

Balin chuckled and headed toward the kitchen. "I've got some strong tea brewing that will help you wake up a bit."

 

"Still too early," Thorin mumbled, glaring in Balin's direction. "Did you sleep well?"

 

"What sleep I managed to get. I may have stayed up reading last night," Bilbo said, blushing when Thorin laughed. "It was interesting, and I lost track of time."

 

"I can well imagine. The tea will help wake you up, though I do warn you it is very strong."

 

"Anything that will help," Bilbo said with a sigh. "I do have all of my missives ready for Frerin. Do you know when he's leaving?"

 

"Directly after breakfast, so bring them with you," Thorin murmured. "He's glad to be going. Dorwina was in rare form last night. Made a scene in the dining halls."

 

Bilbo winced. "Why is she so determined? Though they were in talks for it, it was not a definite thing, and there was no contract signed. There are other wealthy Dwarves, are there not, if that's all she wants?"

 

"I do not know, nor do I particularly care," Thorin murmured into his hair. "I only hope she leaves sometime soon."

 

Bilbo could understand that. Sighing, he closed his eyes and let himself drift until Balin returned.

 

~*~

 

After becoming bored with looking at Elvish weaponry – as pretty as it was, it was of no interest to him in general – he told Thorin and Balin he was going to the stalls across the way. They had waved him away, and so he'd been looking around, making purchases and showing the large coin that would indicate to them to send the bill to the royal treasury. Three stalls later, Thorin and Balin were still haggling with the Elves, and so Bilbo decided to head off to the next stall of interest.

 

Bilbo was moving toward a stall to the right, passing by one of the several entrances into the marketplace, when a hand reached out and grabbed his arm, yanking him out into the hall and down a side hall before he could even shout in surprise. Upon being pushed up against the wall, Bilbo squeaked from the slight pain that radiated in his head at the impact and then glared at the Dwarf who had him in her hold, trying to ignore the pain in his neck from where she was squeezing tightly. "What is your problem?" he asked.

 

"You stole what was mine!" she snarled viciously, glaring at him with so much hate and anger it instilled a deep fear into him.

 

"I stole nothing from you," Bilbo said softly, trying to remain calm. He had no idea what Dorwina would do to him if she were so inclined, and he wasn't in a position to defend himself. But he knew this had to be her. From the way Thrain and Frerin had spoken of her behavior the night before, it did not surprise him that she would confront him. Or that she was far stronger than he.

 

He really needed to talk to Dwalin about those lessons.

 

"Thorin was mine, and then you came along and ruined everything! I should slit your throat and hide your body in the deepest parts of Erebor," she murmured, her cold eyes glittering with malice as she began thinking over her options. "He would think you lost your nerve and ran back home. Then he would be free to marry me, and all that he has would be mine."

 

"You don't love him. Why would you want to marry him?" Bilbo asked, going limp when all his struggling proved useless. She had him pinned far too well.

 

"Of course I don't love him! But that hardly matters to my father, now does it? He had the one I loved killed and threatened me with the same if I did not do his bidding," she said, her own fear seeping into her expression in place of the coldness. She leaned closer and her voice lowered to a whisper. "His debts are beyond what anyone would imagine. The things I've had to endure to keep the debtors from killing him outright would drive you mad."

 

And clearly it had driven her mad. He could see it now, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. "I could help you, you know. I could talk to Thorin, to Thrain, and we could help your family."

 

The cold, hard glare was back. "You would do no such thing. You simply do not want me to kill you. If I let you go, you will speak of this to everyone, and they will imprison me. Who then will save my mother and my brother and sister?" Dorwina pulled a knife from her boot. "It is better this way."

 

A glint of steel flashed from behind Dorwina, who found herself with a blade at her neck. "I would not do that if I were you," the Dwarf murmured, pulling the blade from her hand easily. "Now let the Prince's intended go, or I will slit your throat here and now."

 

Dorwina backed away from Bilbo slowly, releasing his neck last, and Bilbo slumped against the wall, rubbing the injured skin. He was going to be bruised for some time, he was certain.

 

He watched as the Dwarf used ties to secure her hands behind her body. He was young, perhaps around Frerin's age, and his hair was styled into an odd star-like pattern that Bilbo was certain took some time to achieve. "Thank you," he said, when Dorwina was finally secured.

 

The Dwarf bowed his head. "Nori, at your service, Master Baggins. Are you well?"

 

Bilbo rubbed his neck again. "A little bruised, but otherwise unharmed."

 

"We'll have Óin see to you shortly," Nori said, and then he whistled, loud and sharp, making Bilbo jump. Two other Dwarves came from down the tunnels and took Dorwina with them after a few directions from Nori.

 

"Come. We need to find Balin and Thorin and alert them to what has happened," Nori said, escorting Bilbo back into the marketplace. "How did she manage to get you?"

 

"Balin and Thorin were looking at some Elven-made daggers for sale so I went to another stall nearby. I was crossing the entrance when she reached out and grabbed me. I suppose no one noticed, it happened so quickly." Bilbo looked around until he saw Thorin and Balin looking about worriedly. "There they are."

 

His waving caught Thorin's attention and the two Dwarves quickly rushed up to him. "Where have you been?" Thorin asked, eyes narrowing when he saw the red hand-shaped marks on his neck. "What happened to you? Who did this?"

 

"Dorwina," Bilbo said, allowing Thorin to look over his injury. "She grabbed me and threatened to kill me. Lucky for me Nori was about. He kept her from killing me and had some others take her away." He sighed softly as they walked back out of the marketplace. "She's quite mad, you know. I fear she's also a pawn of her father's, and I think he's forced her to do some rather horrific things to waylay his debt. She did not want to marry you, but she needs the money. She also fears for the lives of her mother and siblings. She said her father had the one she loved killed."

 

"Why did she simply not come to us about this in the first place?" Thorin murmured. "And you need to see Óin."

 

"Nori said as much," Bilbo said, rubbing the back of his head. When he pulled his fingers away, there was a spot of blood.

 

"Your head is injured," Thorin said, hastening their travel and turning down another tunnel. "You should have said."

 

"I did not hit it that hard. Must have been a rough patch on the wall or something," Bilbo replied. "As to Dorwina, I think she's under the impression that if she did, you would not help her and her family would be killed."

 

"Why would we kill her family?" Thorin mused, clearly not understanding. Or maybe Bilbo just wasn't clear enough. His head was starting to hurt a little.

 

"Not you. Whoever her father is indebted to," Bilbo said, letting himself be bundled into what was clearly a healer's room.

 

"Óin!" Nori shouted, eliciting a wince from Bilbo.

 

"Coming, lad! What have you got yourself into this time?" a voice called out from a room in the back.

 

"Not me. 'Tis the Hobbit Prince Thorin is courting," Nori called out as Thorin escorted Bilbo over to the examining table and helped him up. "He was attacked. Got a bit of bruising on his neck and a small wound on the back of his head from where he hit the wall."

 

A Dwarf came out of the back and looked at Bilbo curiously. He was older than the others in the room, perhaps by twenty or thirty years. He had his long, dark-reddish hair pulled back at his neck and fastened with a clasp. His long beard was braided and coiled up into a loop and fastened into his hair, likely to keep it out of his way while he worked. Bilbo imagined working with poultices and other medicinal concoctions could be messy work.

 

"Well, now, who would be stupid enough to try and harm your intended, laddie?" Óin asked Thorin as he moved until he was in front of Bilbo and began inspecting his throat.

 

"The Dwarrowdam whom my father wanted me to marry," Thorin replied, watching as Óin worried over Bilbo's injuries. "Bilbo insists she's quite mad."

 

"She is," Bilbo said, once Óin strode around the table and pulled the lanterns closer so he could check the injury Bilbo indicated on the back of his head. "I honestly don't know if you can help or if she would take it, the way she is now. When I told her I would speak with you about helping her family, she still insisted the only way was to kill me."

 

"I will send for one of Thranduil's mind healers," Óin said, grimacing. "They may be weed-eaters, but they do know their healing arts. They should be able to decide if she can be helped at this point."

 

Bilbo rolled his eyes at the weed-eater comment but kept his own counsel on the matter. "It sounds like a good idea. Thranduil should still be in Dale. Write your missive and I'll send it with one of my own. It may hasten their arrival."

 

"I know it would," Thorin said, his face slipping into a disgruntled expression. "He likes you far too much for my peace of mind."

 

"He is merely being friendly and has no interest other than that, unless it is to obtain his own entertainment by stoking your own ire," Bilbo said, rolling his eyes once more. "Get used to it, because I won't stop being friends with him just because you do not like it."

 

Óin chuckled. "I will have the missive sent to you within the hour. Your injuries are minor. You may have a bit of a headache, and I'll give you a small batch of ointment to put on the small cut on the back of your head. It's not big or deep enough for stitches and will heal well on its own. I will also give you a soothing balm for the bruises that are forming on your neck, and a tea for the headache, should it manifest."

 

"Thank you," Bilbo called out as Óin headed into the back again. Then he turned to Thorin. "I know you need to report this to your father. You and Balin go. I will be safe enough with Nori. He can escort me back to my rooms, and once my headache subsides, perhaps we can go to the library after lunch."

 

Thorin nodded and leaned over to kiss him, ignoring Balin's clearing his throat and Nori's snickering. "I will come and check on you as soon as I am able."

 

"Bring lunch!" Bilbo said, grinning at him as he reluctantly headed out the door, Balin all but shoving him through before closing the door behind them.

 

Nori laughed once they were gone. "Master Baggins, I do believe you will be good for our prince. I daresay he's always been a bit spoiled and used to getting his own way. Your insistence on being close friends with the King of the Woodland Realm will be entertainment enough for many of us for years."

 

"He and Thranduil really don't like each other much, do they?" Bilbo asked.

 

"It's not really a dislike so much as I think they enjoy the animosity they can elicit from one another. He gets along well enough with Legolas when he's here without his father," Nori said as he leaned up against the wall. "Now, Thranduil and King Thror...they did not like each other. It's likely a good thing that nothing drastic happened to Erebor during his reign. I do not think Thranduil would have come to our aid if it had."

 

"That bad?"

 

Óin snorted. "Laddie, that Elf wouldn't have spit on Thror's eyebrows if they had caught fire. A dragon could have come down from the north and decimated us, and he would have done nothing while Thror was in power, I'd wager."

 

"What was wrong with Thror? Thranduil did not seem to me to be someone who would simply ignore those who needed aid," Bilbo said.

 

"Gold sickness, laddie," Óin said, shaking his head. "Can take the best Dwarf, but he had one of the worst cases I'd ever seen. Became even worse after they found the Arkenstone. A beautiful gem, no doubt about it, but it drove Thror mad with greed. He demanded tribute from all those around him. Our dealings with the Elves has been on shaky ground forever it seems, and this made it even worse. When he died, Thrain had the Arkenstone and the Ring of Power Thror wore buried with him deep in the tombs. None but a few know where Thror's actual gravesite is. It is not in the elaborate tomb they erected for him, as they feared some greedy villain might try and dig him up for the stone or the ring."

 

Óin smiled at him then. "Enough about that. Here is the ointment for your head, and the salve for your throat. Apply a very thin coat about every six hours to your throat," Óin said, applying it and the ointment for him with a few quick and surprisingly gentle strokes. "Brew up some of this tea and drink a cup every few hours as needed. You may add a bit of sugar or honey to help with the taste."

 

"Thank you," Bilbo said, slipping off the table. "What do I owe you?"

 

"Nothing, laddie. As part of the royal family, it's already taken care of," Óin said, patting his shoulder before shooing the two of them out the door.

 

As they walked back to the rooms, Bilbo looked at Nori. "So, what do you do here in Erebor?"

 

Nori grinned at him and shrugged. "A little bit of this. A little bit of that. All for the royal family though, so I assure you my mischief is fully sanctioned."

 

"Well, you have my thanks, Master Nori. Whatever it is you do, I am glad you were around to aid me. I really need to talk to Dwalin about fighting lessons."

 

"Aye, it would help you. You will always be a target for nonsense now that you're associated with the royal family. I would be more than glad to help you with the sneakier aspects of fighting, as well as showing you the best ways to slink around Erebor. There are tunnels and hallways that all but a few are ignorant about. Could help you out if you get into a spot of trouble."

 

"I would appreciate it," Bilbo said, rubbing his head. Sighing, he looked at the tea. "I hope this isn't too horrid."

 

Nori laughed. "If you're actually looking for pleasant teas, you may wish to go to my brother Dori's shop in the marketplace. He sells teas, spices, and coffee. Has some of the best you will ever find. Grows them all himself."

 

"Does he? I will have to speak with him. I have an entire terrace that's just waiting to be planted. It's nice to know there's someone else around who appreciates plants," Bilbo said, leading the way into the royal halls, nodding at the guards who watched them pass by.

 

"So you have the room with the big terrace. Dori will be most jealous. His balconies and hothouse for growing aren't anywhere near so grand as the ones you have," Nori said, grinning. "I cannot wait to tell him."

 

Bilbo chuckled. "You're terrible. I'm certain if he needs extra space, I can spare it. I have no idea what I'm going to do with all of it as it is. Thorin did not explain thoroughly just how big the garden was when he told me about it."

 

When they finally got to his chambers, he went in to put on the water, while Nori insisted upon checking the rooms for intruders, since the chambers had been left unlocked. Both teas – the pain reliever and the rather enjoyable blend he'd found just that morning – were done by the time Nori stopped poking about, and the two went outside and sat at the marble table there, enjoying the breeze.

 

That was where Thorin and Balin found them an hour and a half later, chatting amicably, Bilbo laughing at a story Nori was telling him about his brother.

 

Thorin leaned down and kissed the top of Bilbo's head. "My father agreed with sending for the mind healer. If you will write to Thranduil, he will send it out directly."

 

Bilbo nodded and headed inside, pulling out his writing box and quickly penning a letter to Thranduil, explaining what had happened and what he wanted. When he came back out, the three stared at him, unnerving him a bit to be the focus of their attention. "Here you go. Óin is supposed to write as well."

 

"He already gave his letter to my father, after meeting with Dorwina. He agrees that she is quite mad," Thorin said, taking Bilbo's hand when he sat in the chair next to him. "He does not know that they can do anything for her, but he believes we should try. Something within her is broken. How we did not see it before, I do not know."

 

"She hid it well, I believe, and since you spent as little time together as possible, it would have been easy for her to hide," Balin replied.

 

Nori hummed his agreement and took the letter. "I need to go and see Thrain. I will give him your letter," Nori said, bowing to Thorin and taking his leave.

 

Bilbo waved as he left and then sighed, sitting back in his chair.

 

"How is your head?" Thorin asked.

 

"Better. It wasn't much pain and the tea helped ease what was there. I am ready to return to our plans for the day whenever you are. Did you bring lunch?"

 

Thorin laughed. "It's being brought to us," he replied, ruffling Bilbo's hair and earning himself a glare.

 

"Good, because I for one cannot wait to get into the library and have a look around." Bilbo turned his head to look out over the lands while Balin and Thorin began talking about some meeting that was scheduled in a few days, and he thought to himself that he could indeed be happy here.


End file.
